Right Here, Right Now.

I struggle with being present.

As an Enneagram 7, my brain lives in the future. I am wired for what’s next, what’s possible, what’s coming, and how to make it better. That energy has served me well in many areas of life. It also means I have to work much harder than most to stay right where I am.

I will never forget a couple of summers ago, as I was leaving for a once-in-a-lifetime adventure, a friend who knows me well said, “Your mission is to be where your feet are planted the entire time you’re there.” Best travel advice I have ever received.

This has been on my mind lately because I keep seeing how early the future is showing up in our kids’ lives. College admissions conversations now start in ninth grade. Sports decisions feel like they are always about the next level. Even my eleven-year-old has started asking questions about middle school sports, high school sports, and what comes after that. Every time, I have to stop myself and think: buddy, your only job right now is to enjoy being eleven.

And it is not just about kids, college, or sports. This is a wider cultural problem. We are always moving on to the next thing. And when we finally are together, we are often only half there. Phones in hand. Bodies in one place. Minds somewhere else.

So this is not a post written from a place of mastery. It is written from a place of effort. These are the small, imperfect ways I am trying to practice presence in a world that keeps pulling us forward. Not to freeze time. Not to do life perfectly. Just to stay in it a little more fully while it is happening.

I have come up with ten ways to practice being more present. I always learn from the ideas of others, so if something works well for your family, I would love for you to share it in the comments.

1. Family dinners around the table, no electronics.
   As often as possible. Or even at the same time every week. But any time is great. Conversation cards are also a really cool tool!

2. Do things that keep your hands busy.
   Bike rides. Puzzles. Cooking side by side. Movement and activity make presence easier.

3. Schedule the things you wish were spontaneous.
   Game nights. Ice cream runs. What lives on the calendar actually happens.

4. Ask questions that do not rush to outcomes.
   Instead of how did that go or what’s next, try:
   What part did you like?
   What surprised you?
   What was weird about today?

5. Create one daily anchor.
   Reading together at bedtime. Tea before bed. Five quiet minutes on the couch. One small ritual can steady an entire day.

6. Practice synchronous activity or body doubling.
   Homework or work at the same table. Cleaning a room at the same time. Everyone doing their own thing, together. Presence does not require constant engagement.

7. Fight the urge to distract when you’re alone.
   Silence doesn’t need a podcast, a tv on in the background, food, or sleep. Sit with the silence a little bit each day, and it will get easier. Notice what is happening around you with all of your senses and be where your feet are planted.

8. Go for a walk. Short. Long. Just move a little.

9. Build reflection into the year.
   End-of-school dinners. Birthday interviews. A short annual family conversation about what felt good and what felt hard. Reflection slows time and makes meaning visible.

10. Work on TRULY listening.
    Not thinking of what you’ll say next. 100% all-ears listening to the person on the other end of the phone or across the table. Live in their world and watch them light up.

It helps to remember that you do not need to punish yourself or each other for racing ahead in your mind. It is okay. Just notice it, then let the thought go.

What works for you? How do you practice presence with your family or yourself?