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Betwixt & Between Proxy · Jun 29, 2026

To Reach One Hundred

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Anna Du Pen · Betwixt & Between Proxy

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I recently asked a 98 year old whether or not he wanted to have CPR if “something bad happened.” I was sure he would say no. He did not.

His cognitive function is better than mine and he has escaped all of the major medical calamities like heart attacks and strokes. In one word, he is amazing.

But his doctor said he needs to go to the hospital right away.

Because of his lab values.

Sky high white blood count, red blood cell count in the toilet and barely enough platelets to keep him from hemorrhaging.

He lives alone in the house he raised four children in. His wife died a few years ago. His children are attentive.

His doctor says he needs to see a hematologist and get a bone marrow aspirate done. He doesn’t want to. He says he wants to make it to a hundred.

Okay. That’s good enough for me, but he doesn’t want the bone marrow aspirate done. And therein lies the dilemma. Someone described it to him and it sounds awful. Totally get that.

Sigh.

He thinks he has to go see his primary care provider to get a referral to hematology. That is what “managed” Medicare Advantage programs have done to our elders. I explained that’s why the doctor said go to the hospital. Hospital doesn’t sound good either.

He wants to know if it is blood cancer what the treatment would be like.

“I want to know my options.”

“They can’t give you the options unless they know what to treat and they can’t know what to treat without the bone marrow aspirate.”

Did I mention that he was an engineer.

Then he told me they had recommended the procedure months ago.

Sigh. Not sure he’s gonna make that 100 mark no matter what it shows.

But after a long pause he agreed that he needed the bone marrow aspirate in order to know what the next step entails. I told him it’s not fun but not much more aggravating than anything else that happens in the hospital.

Sigh.

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