Hold the door, please!!

Do you hold the door open for someone? There is data to suggest that the more positive social interactions, however superficial, are better for our overall health. Fear not introverts! There are plenty of ways to create community, albeit some involve stepping outside our comfort zones from time to time.

When I think back to the example my parents set for how I interacted with others outside of our family and friends - I can understand why interacting with people has proved to require some intentionality on my part. My family was the family getting out of church, avoiding talking to people at all costs or if unavoidable eye contact was made - exchanging passing pleasantries, definitely not stopping. You never stop, because then you’re going to have to …TALK. My dad wanted to get out of there. I understood and I even wanted to leave too, sharing my dad’s acute dislike for random interaction at the time. My mom anchored the team, chatting up everyone on the way out. It was hard for me to understand what church could be - the message in the homily being far from how we interacted as a family with others.

I’ve come to find that random, positive interactions with others, especially strangers forms our basis of community. Think about how many people you may see in the gym every day and we don’t know their names. Our generation is running into a community and therefore a loneliness crisis. We may lean on social media, politics, work or school to form our social bonds, to tell us how we fit in with others outside our homes. There’s a problem with this from an evolutionary perspective. Homo Sapiens as a species has survived because of our ability to communicate and cooperate. The divisive nature of America especially going into an election year, given the political climate has a dearth of moderation and positivity.

Data suggests that how we carry on a superficial relationship with a barista at the coffee shop or the person sacking our groceries matters. We are creatures of habit and this is one habit worth making. I love sports. Especially soccer, running, football and hockey. I can remember times where I have created a community around each of those sports and a time when I have isolated myself. My life is richer and I feel better, more connected to my place in this world when I go out of my way to interact beyond just showing up to play the sport.

A recent article discussed some centenarians living well past 100 years old. They were widows or widowers, with a non-specific diet, enjoying light to moderate daily exercise. What was their stand out that made them survive well beyond the typical human lifespan? Two things: 01. They avoided immobilizing systemic disease. 02. They were great at creating community. Their relationships with others were rich and varied. I used to think if I had deep relationships with one or two people I’d be ‘living my best life’. While those deep relationships matter, I also learned the power of interacting with strangers. Numerous, positive, superficial interactions are excellent for our mental health and wellbeing. So, next time you are tempted to rush along with your day or get to your next event leave five minutes early and give yourself time to interact with the people you may meet. Smile more, a smile is contagious. You’re mental health will be better for it and more importantly you have likely helped your neighbor without knowing it. Notice how people react when they are speaking with you. Have courage to stand through an awkward silence - and remember the magic happens in the pause.

With the increasing applicability of artificial intelligence in our lives, it is more important than ever to lean into the things that make us most human. Simple daily interactions have an important impact on ourselves and others.

Connect ~ Discover ~ Inspire. Be well friends.

Steph