Better Sex is focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Better Sex is hosted by Jessa Zimmerman who is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. Each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that…
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Host Jessa Zimmerman interviews New York City sex therapist and trainer Sari Cooper about how sexual stigma and shame are shaped by culture, religion, family dynamics, and implicit messages like silence or lack of affection modeling. Cooper shares her background from a liberal upbringing and modern dance into a helping profession where sex felt taboo, and discusses nuanced bicultural and…
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Pavini Moray about why somatic approaches are vital in couples and sex therapy, especially when talk therapy leads to over-processing without change. Pavini shares their path from Montessori education to sexological bodywork and how embodiment, intentional attention, and practice support sexual and relational healing. They discuss how working with both…
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Barbara Carrellas, author of The Book of Ecstasy, about ecstasy as a transformative state that goes beyond pleasure, sex, and orgasm into connection, awe, and ego-dissolution. Carrellas describes how her work was shaped during the AIDS crisis in 1980s New York, where grief and catharsis often fueled joy, and explains ecstasy as a reset button that can be…
Jessa argues that each person is responsible for their own sexual pleasure by learning what feels good, what turns them on, and then clearly sharing that information with a partner. She emphasizes that partners aren’t mind readers and don’t have the same instant feedback loop as masturbation, so words, demonstrations, and usable vocabulary are crucial for guiding touch. Sharing preferences should…
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Dr. Julie Merriman about her book, Are We Gonna Have Sex or What?, focused on helping women over 50 reclaim pleasure and desire. Merriman explains that decreased libido is often less about menopause alone and more about decades of high-functioning “survival mode” that dysregulates the nervous system, tightens the body, and takes pleasure offline; hormone…
In this Soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explores how the common higher-desire/lower-desire framework is helpful but doesn’t always accurately describe what’s happening in a relationship. She outlines two main ways desire can be “masked”: a higher-desire partner may detach from wanting sex after repeated disappointment, becoming resigned and avoiding sex because it’s less painful…
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews functional medicine clinician and neurofeedback specialist Dr. Stephanie Rimka about emotional regulation as a biological process involving safety, the vagus nerve, brainwaves, hormones, and co-regulation through relationships. Rimka describes how chronic sympathetic activation undermines metabolic health, longevity, and mitochondrial function, framing…
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Anthony Silard back to discuss research-based, average gender differences in relationships, community-building, and loneliness. Silard explains how women tend to have more robust “social convoys” than men, contributing to outcomes like higher male mortality after a spouse’s death, and describes stress responses such as “tend and befriend.” He outlines severe…
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Johns Hopkins urologic surgeon and researcher Dr. Arthur Burnett about erectile dysfunction from a holistic biopsychosocial perspective. Burnett explains how erections work as a vascular function regulated by the nervous system, and how physical factors like hypertension, atherosclerosis, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and nerve or hormone issues can…
In a soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman clarifies a common misconception that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is mainly meant to increase libido. Drawing from two recent conversations—one with a post-menopausal client experiencing painful sex and resisting HRT as a “fix,” and another with a man wondering why his wife’s HRT didn’t dramatically raise desire—she explains that libido…
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews therapist Hannah Buzzo about psychedelic-assisted therapy for intimacy and sex, for individuals and couples. Buzzo describes her background in addiction and trauma work (including EMDR), her training in trauma treatment with psychedelics, and how psychedelic work can make it easier to address taboo topics like sexuality and soften defenses in a safe,…
