The Westport Whisper.

Edition Nine — your faithful correspondent has had another very interesting week

GRANDMA MABEL — THE TREE IS NOT WELL, AND NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT

Those who read last week’s edition will recall that Mabel had gone to look at the Grandmother Banksia and come home to a cup of tea she did not drink. This correspondent promised to report back. Here is the report.

The tree is not well.

This is Mabel’s assessment, delivered to Eunice on Saturday morning with the quiet certainty of a woman who has been gardening for sixty years and knows the difference between a plant that is struggling and a plant that is in trouble. The Grandmother Banksia, which has stood on the corner of Church Street for one hundred and fifty years, is dropping leaves in a pattern that Mabel does not like. The outer branches are thinning. There is a dullness to it that was not there six months ago.

Mabel reported this to the council on Monday. The council thanked her for her concern and suggested it may be the season. Mabel pointed out that she had been observing this tree for thirty-seven years and that autumn had never done this to it before. The council suggested she monitor it and report back if things worsened.

Mabel’s response to this is not suitable for print in its entirety. The summary is that she intends to do considerably more than monitor it.

Eunice, for her part, has noted that the yellow-tailed black cockatoos have still not returned. She mentioned this to three people at church on Sunday. This is, in this correspondent’s experience, how things begin in Westport. Slowly, quietly, and via the church notice board.

Victor Hale was seen at the construction site on Tuesday, hard hat on, shaking hands with the foreman. He paused on his way out to look at the Grandmother Banksia for a long moment. Then he got in his car and drove away.

He was not the only one. Later that same afternoon an older man — nobody this correspondent has been able to identify, a quiet figure in a grey jacket — was seen standing near the base of the tree for some time. He was not doing anything. He was simply standing there, looking up into the canopy with an expression that those nearby found difficult to name. Not concern exactly. Something older than concern. He stood there for a good few minutes before walking away in the direction of the older cottages behind the construction site. Nobody knew him. Nobody thought to follow.

Mabel was not there to see either of them. She was told about both. She wrote them both in her notebook and said nothing.

* * *

MOLLY & MATT — THE NAME SITUATION REMAINS UNRESOLVED, AND MOLLY HAS ADDITIONAL CONCERNS

A week has passed since Grandma Mabel declared that one of the twins would be named Mabel. The situation has not changed. Mabel’s position remains exactly what it was — stated, settled, and not open for further discussion. Molly’s position also remains exactly what it was, which is that it very much is open for further discussion and will remain so.

Matt, who has been described this week by no fewer than three separate sources as looking like a man slowly coming to terms with something very large, has begun to approach the twins’ arrival with what can only be described as cautious practicality. He has measured the spare room. He has made a spreadsheet. He has not shown the spreadsheet to anyone, which those who know Matt will recognise as a sign that the spreadsheet contains information he is not ready to share.

Molly, who is blooming in the way that makes everyone around her slightly emotional, has been seen at the Café by the River this week having coffee with Ellen and approximately forty-seven opinions about nursery furniture. Ellen cried twice. Molly was magnificent throughout.

However. This correspondent has it on very good authority that Molly was overheard in Danny’s salon on Thursday afternoon in a conversation that began with skincare and escalated considerably from there. The words stretch marks were mentioned. Then the words I Googled it and I wish I hadn’t. Then something about a particular celebrity who had twins and reportedly emerged from the experience looking exactly the same as before, which Molly described in terms this correspondent will not reproduce but which Danny found entirely relatable.

Danny, to his credit, produced three different serums, a body oil, and a level of enthusiasm that sources describe as genuinely impressive. Andrew quietly added a fourth product to the bag and said nothing. This is very much on brand for both of them.

Matt was texted a photograph of the skincare bag and its contents. He responded immediately with a thumbs up and then, forty seconds later, a second message asking what everything was for. He has not received a reply.

Danny has submitted a revised list of names. Destiny-Rayne remains on it. So does something that appears to be a combination of two celebrity surnames hyphenated together. Danny stands by all of it. Molly does not.

* * *

CHLOE & ALEX — A LUNCH, A COINCIDENCE, AND A PERFORMANCE WORTHY OF A STANDING OVATION

Chloe McDermott and Alexandra Anderson were seen having lunch at the Café by the River on Wednesday. This is not, in itself, remarkable. What made Wednesday’s lunch remarkable was what happened at the end of it.

Isaac arrived. Not by arrangement — he had simply finished an errand nearby and spotted them through the window. He came in, helped himself to a chair and the remains of Alex’s chips, and within approximately ninety seconds had launched into a detailed account of something Adam had been doing that Isaac found baffling.

Adam, it seems, has been distracted. Not unhappily — in fact, quite the opposite. He has been, in Isaac’s words, suspiciously cheerful. He has been making phone calls in other rooms. He came home on Tuesday with a bag that he put directly in the wardrobe before Isaac could get a proper look at it. He has been smiling at his phone. When Isaac asked what he was smiling at, Adam said nothing interesting and changed the subject, which Isaac noted was objectively very interesting indeed.

Isaac looked at Chloe while he was saying all of this. Chloe looked back at Isaac with the expression of a woman paying close and supportive attention to every word. She did not blink. She did not fidget. She did not give a single thing away.

She did, however, knock over her water glass immediately after Isaac finished speaking — at which point the conversation moved to mopping up the table and the moment passed entirely.

Alex, who is new enough to this particular extended circle to have no idea what is going on, ate her lunch and observed all of this with the quiet interest of a woman who has learned that in Westport, the best thing to do when you don’t understand something is watch and wait.

She is learning fast.

Isaac left without his answer. He will keep asking. Chloe will keep not answering. This correspondent is watching the water glass situation very carefully.

* * *

ADAM — WEEK THREE, AND A SIGHTING THAT RAISES A VERY INTERESTING QUESTION

Adam was seen in town again this week. This is becoming a pattern. Not a concerning one — he looks, if anything, like a man who is enjoying a very private joke at the expense of everyone around him. Which is either charming or alarming depending on how well you know him.

He was seen on Thursday afternoon on the main street, small bag in hand, that now-familiar expression of quiet satisfaction on his face. Nothing unusual in that. What was slightly unusual was that his route back to the car took him past The Ivory Veil.

He slowed as he passed. He glanced in the window — just briefly, the way anyone might — and then continued on. Gracie, who was rearranging a display near the front of the shop at the time, looked up. Their eyes met through the glass for just a moment. Adam smiled. Gracie smiled back. He walked on.

Nancy, who sees everything from behind that counter, watched this exchange without comment. She has been doing a great deal of watching without comment this week. This correspondent finds Nancy’s silences increasingly fascinating.

What Adam was doing near The Ivory Veil is not yet known. Whether it has anything to do with the mysterious woman who asked about the brooch, or whether it has everything to do with something else entirely, Westport cannot yet say.

Isaac, meanwhile, went home on Wednesday after lunch and found the house immaculate and something in the slow cooker. He sent Chloe a message that said simply: something is going on.

Chloe replied: I have absolutely no idea what you mean.

She then, sources confirm, put her phone face down on the counter and went to give Theo a biscuit. Theo accepted it without comment. He is the only one in this situation behaving with any consistency.

The Westport Whisper sees all, says most, and leaves just enough unsaid to keep you wondering.

Until next time — your faithful correspondent remains, as always, delightfully anonymous. 🕯️