Popcorn, bangs, and air conditioning

If you are a human being on earth, more specifically the America part of Earth, well then you probably struggle with some level of “productivity guilt.” I, for one, am indeed a pesky fly stuck in the web of the productivity trap more often than I am not. The best way to describe that feeling is, well … it sucks! At almost 40 years old, with a decade-spanning career under my belt, I still struggle with feeling like I’m not doing “enough.” I thought that becoming a mother would possibly quiet that voice because, well, you know, with a kid you are never not doing something—but as it turns out, taking care of a burgeoning human is not high enough on the “what counts as being productive” list to shut up my relentless brain. I know that comparison is the thief of all joy, blah blah blah, but it really does seem like everyone else out there is doing all the things, and I am not!!!

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In a desperate attempt to kill the productivity cop in my head and redefine what “being productive” means, I present to you a list of 5 “unproductive” productive things I did this week that brought me some joy…

1. Strolled the Halloween section of HomeGoods

   Sometimes you “need” to find a side table for your daughter’s bedroom, and that leads you to the mecca of joy, HomeGoods. And while it is the end of August, aka the beginning of summer in LA, the autumnal vibes are crispy in the scorching air. For those of you (aliens) unfamiliar with HomeGoods, it is a discount home decor chain where you can find everything from throw pillows to Dutch ovens, and if you are extremely lucky, very specific art pieces such as a cat playing the saxophone. Their 2025 Halloween section is giving candy corn chaos, but it’s pure magic nonetheless. I somehow was able to walk out without buying a glass ghost wearing a cowboy hat, and I was so deep in the moment, I didn’t even take any photos of some of the wildest finds. Lucky for you (and me), this person on YouTube made a 20-minute video of their location’s spooky section. Enjoy.

2. Finished The Hunting Wives on Netflix

   If you, like me, are a fan of truly unhinged TV, well boy do I have a show recommendation for you. I first heard of The Hunting Wives last year when I was asked to submit an original song for the opening credits. In the end, they did not select the song I wrote (huge mistake), and because I am a Scorpio, I wanted to boycott the show when I saw it on the Netflix homepage. My best friend and fellow connoisseur of messy television told me I needed to set my grudge aside, and oh my god, I am glad I did. The vibe? Soapy erotic thriller meets murder mystery. It’s centered around a character named Sophie, played by Brittney Snow, who moves from New England to a small (fictional) town in Texas and gets twisted up in a bunch of drama with the town’s scandalous housewives. The wigs are tragic, the sex scenes are giving late-night cable softcore, and the ending is bonkers. 10/10.

   

3. Went to see a movie by myself

   Seeing a movie alone is like a top 5 best thing in life activity for me, and something I did not think I would ever get to do again after Luna was born. I simply do not remember the last time I saw a movie BY MYSELF. The first movie I ever saw alone was Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2. It was a big deal for me because prior to that, I thought doing things like eating alone or going to the movies alone was sad. In hindsight, I wish I had been doing more of those types of solo outings and that it had not taken me until 2012 to realize that one-person adventures are the best kind. Anyway, my husband and Luna were visiting with my mother-in-law, and it was 100 degrees out. With several hours to myself, I knew a Diet Root Beer, chemically buttered popcorn, and freezing cold AC were just what the universe intended. I went to see Weapons, which I really liked, but the real joy was sparked from having both those armrests all to myself.

   

4. Trimmed my own bangs

   If you told me a year ago that I’d have bangs, I would have laughed in your face. My relationship with bangs over the years has been a precarious one. There was the time in 2013 when I was fresh off a breakup, and I decided to drive an hour outside of LA to my hairdresser’s sister’s house after watching History of the Eagles and manically deciding I needed Linda Ronstadt’s bangs. Let’s just say that was the last time I had bangs, and I swore I’d never have them again. Linda’s bangs in particular have always been a temptation for me to relapse, and well, thanks to postpartum hair loss, they won. This time, I drove 10 minutes away to a different friend’s house, and the result did not send me back into bangs celibacy. In fact, I am so committed to having bangs, I learned to trim them myself. My friend Barb is the usual trimmer of these bangs, but given she is a highly sought-after stylist to the stars, she is usually off somewhere with a real celeb and therefore not always available to trim my indie-celeb bangs. Thanks to Jayne Matthews, a razor-cutting specialist, I learned how to trim them using this little gadget. I was terrified to do it, but I figured since I’m already well versed in hating my bangs, I’d just give it a shot. Are they slightly crooked? Yes. Do I love them anyway? Yes.

   

   5. Introduced Luna to Ms. Rachel

   While I understand the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time for infants under 18 months, I am a child of the 90s, so TV raised me. Have I mindfully allowed my daughter to watch a little TV? Yes, I have, and I don’t feel bad about it. There is a difference between setting your kid in front of the TV and leaving them there for hours unattended and letting them watch a little TV with you while you interact with them. Also, in my humble opinion, the big screen (TV) is different than the little screen (phone/iPad), and you won’t catch her in front of one of those any time soon. Anyway, this is not about my thoughts on screen time; this is about America’s sweetheart, Ms. Rachel. For some reason, Ms. Rachel followed me on Instagram recently (gasp!!!!!), and I almost fainted. Even pre-baby, I was a Ms. Rachel stan, but more so for her online activism. I’ve always said that anyone privileged enough to have a platform should be using it for good, and Ms. Rachel is doing everything right in that arena. As I mentioned last week, Luna is newly crawling and zooming all over the place, and well, as a 38-year-old first-time mom, my body aches, babe. The end of the day arrived, and I was SO EXHAUSTED I just threw on Ms. Rachel to do a little co-parenting. I can barely get this baby to sit still anymore, but the moment Ms. Rachel’s pink headband and overalls hit the tube, she was fixated. There we sat for about 20 minutes, playing peek-a-boo with Ms. Rachel, and for the first time in weeks, my child was still, and I could sit on the couch and breathe. I don’t know what is in that woman’s aura, but oh my god, she is good.

   

   Here is a quote I love from the book “I Didn’t Do the Thing Today” by Madeleine Dore (a book I bought while stuck in a deep productivity guilt trap a few years ago that I have yet to finish, lol).

   “We often ask ourselves where the time goes, and no one really knows. But for things to be worthwhile, for making good times, for things to be timeless, we have to allow them to take the time they take. This doesn’t mean that we have to make them perfect, or wait for the perfect moment, or be perfectly optimized. The fruits of our labor might not reveal themselves in a day—some days it can look like we didn’t do anything at all—but the knowledge we put in the bank is priceless. So trust the timing of things—trust the timing of your life.”

So while I did not write a song this week or work on the book proposal I started nearly 10 years ago (more on that another time), I did at least make a nice little deposit into the ole life bank. Hope you had a nice week, no matter how much you did or didn’t do. Talk to you soon.

xo, Bethany