The Texts That Matter

If you opened my phone, here’s what you’d see.

Lucy and I don’t text in a steady, responsible way.
We text hot and fast.
Then nothing.
Then a call.
Then silence.
Then 14 messages in 6 minutes.

Our friendship is not linear. It’s the weather.

Last Friday, it opened like this:

Lucy:
“Are we FOR probiotic sodas or are we ‘that’s bullshit, drink water’?”

Me:
“I’m a thanks, bullshit, Lucy.”
(** My texts are less “message” and more “puzzle”; if you can read them, you’re officially in the inner circle.)

Lucy:
“But it’s so good when I have my period.”

Me:
“Like it tastes good or it makes your body feel good?”

Lucy:
“You’re such a party pooper. I need you to try the Shirley Temple one.”

Me:
“I’m not saying they don’t taste good. I’m just saying, why did you have to add a probiotic to a sugar drink and make things confusing?”

Lucy:
“Let me be delusional.”

And that was that.

Weekend passes.

Then she texts:

“Hi, I was just calling to tell you that I feel like a crazy person”

We get on the phone. The call lasts 18 minutes.

In that time, we cover:

• work

• all the plays

• a wedding

• and the war with Iran

Because that’s how it works, you don’t schedule “intimacy.” You just press call and see what spills out.

And this is the part I’ve been thinking about.

These little friendship moments. They brighten the day in a way that feels small but isn’t.

They connect us.
They let us be ridiculous.
They let us be intimate.
They let us laugh out loud in the middle of motherhood.

Some friends text.
Some send voice memos.
Some Marco Polo while driving (hands-free, obviously).
Some send one-line check-ins.
Some send five-minute audio monologues. (Friendship podcasts!)

Lucy voices memos 90% of the time. I reply in text 90% of the time.
But I always pick up when she calls.

That’s the rhythm.

And it’s not just Lucy.

This week also included:

• Me leaving a voice memo for a friend at Disney asking why she hadn’t sent enough food photos yet. (I am invested.)

• Sending sourdough starter pictures to a saint of a woman coaching me through my yeast confusion.

• Exchanging bird photos and bird podcast recommendations like we’re running a small wildlife bureau.

• Receiving a voice memo that if it were an email would be titled: “How to control your butt hole in Pilates.”

This is what growing a friendship actually looks like.

It’s probiotic soda debates.
It’s 18-minute calls.
It’s hyper-specific snack updates.
It’s a bodily function voice memo.

It’s showing up in whatever format works that week.

And I think we should pay more attention to that.

The way these tiny exchanges carry us, make us feel sane and seen.

So here’s your gentle assignment:

Text your bestie.
Or your almost-bestie.
Send the random thought. Ask for the snack report. Admit the weird thing.

And if you have a truly chaotic-but-loving text thread this week, we want to see it.

Consider this your official invitation to overshare.

— Elizabeth