Rung Two thoughts: These ... are the days of our lives

Reader’s note: Reminder that Rung Two is “The achievement of one’s objectives requires a good plan and consistent effort.” This is an update on how my dots in Franklin’s virtue marking system are working for me.

Here’s a comparison of where I stood after four weeks at June 28, six weeks at July 27, and nine-and-a-half weeks at Aug. 23:

Industry: 16 at 4 weeks, 20 at 6 weeks, 23 at 9.5 weeks

Cleanliness: 13, 19, 33

Temperance: 10, 15, 24

Tranquillity: 7, 10, 22

Silence: 5, 7, 13

Resolution: 2, 5, 9

Frugality: 5, 6, 8

Humility: 2, 3, 7

Moderation: 2, 3, 6

Sincerity: No dots, 3, 5

Generosity: X, X, 2

Order: 2, 2, 2

Justice: 1, 1, 1 (swapped out for Mussar soul-trait Enthusiasm 8/13)

Enthusiasm: 0, 0, 1

Chastity: 0, 0 (swapped out for Mussar’s Generosity 8/6)

Are we what we notice? If so, I mark the easy-to-notice daily details:

• Cleanliness (did you clean the apartment or take a shower today?); I don’t see the point in perpetually cleaning everything when it’s just going to get dirty again. I can ignore maintenance tasks sometimes.

• Temperance (did you overdo it with food or drink at a meal today?); food makes us feel better sometimes, and I sometimes eat my feelings. That means sorrow, boredom, or worry sometimes arrive in my body and get soothed, temporarily, with eating too much at a meal.

• Tranquillity (were you aware of being bothered by small things or nothing at all?); I have perpetual anxiety, a sense of nervousness in my stomach and hyper-awareness off what’s going on around me. Sometimes hyper-awareness and nerves keep me on top of things, but sometimes those perpetual sensations lead my brain to chase around looking for things to be scared or worried about.

These three virtues are easy to see in their absence. Did you eat too much at dinner? Do you remember being agitated sometime today? Did you take a shower this morning, or clean the kitchen counter?

I don’t feel great about the virtues or soul-traits I’m imperfectly managing each day, but I also don’t feel overwhelmingly guilty. Some of self-improvement is improving the self, and some of self-improvement comes with recognizing what is. To change all the bad things and be perfect will never happen, so focusing too much on that goal can cause problems. Self-awareness in this case is not about becoming more and more piercingly familiar with how terrible I am by having flaws, but by recognizing those flaws, in the bright, cold light of my understanding, and accepting and working with them over time. They’re there. They influence me. They’re to be accepted, viewed realistically, and, over time, adjusted, if that’s the path I’m on.

Because I lead a far more solitary life than Benjamin Franklin did, I find a lot of the social elements of character in Franklin’s virtues and Jewish Mussar’s soul-traits don’t get a workout. I could make myself busier and insert myself more into the goings-on around me, but I’m not 100% sure that’s what’s necessary or what’s called for.

The biggest win here is Industry: “Lose no time; cut off all unnecessary actions. Be always employed in something useful.” I’ve given myself a wide, wide berth to consider actions as “necessary” and what makes something “useful.” But I’ve looked at lists of next actions, and each day I’ve rigged up a full day of things to be done before the day is done.

If you’ve used self-improvement, personal growth or moral/virtue plans before, I’d love to hear about it either here, anywhere I’m on social media, or privately via email.

Good luck out there.