we are not the only ones

You are not the only one who's feeling like you don't belong in this room because you don't even know what the people in this room are talking about, and you're just sitting here, feeling so worthless and out of place, even if it is not your job to know the things that they know, and you just have to sit there.

You are not the only one who feels less than, because she does not look like the woman on the screens and at parties, whose hair is always glossy, boobs always perky, who always have perfect complexion and just the right amount of makeup, and yet you feel bad about yourself and you feel less than ,even if it is not your job to have glossy hair and look great all the time.

You are not the only one who loses her shit every once in a while, because somehow everything falls on you, and everybody waits on you, and you are stretched too thin, and yet you feel like shit because you lost your shit, even if it was never your job to take care of everyone and everything and do it perfectly.

You are not the only one who feels sad because life is not what you thought it will be, it does not match the stories and ideals you’ve learned to expect, and yet, you somehow feel like it's your fault, like you didn't do enough, like other people have it all together, and you are the only one failing, even if it was never your job to achieve unrealistic expectations and you don’t even want to really.

But also, I know I am not the only one who no longer gives a shit, because finally I’ve realize that I’m turning 40, I am a freaking adult, and it is no longer my job to listen to the other adults in my life and do what they want me to do. It is my job to be me, to do it my way, to fuck up, to learn or not, to grow or not grow from that.

I know that none of us are one of a kind snowflake. While we all might be unique, the world has been here long enough for others have felt what you feel now. You don’t need to do anything - just to know that others are like you - strugling, avoiding feelings, feeling less than, lossing their shit. Hell, I sometimes do all of it in one day!

So, chin up. Let’s get on with it.