Book recs for an extreme heat summer

I spent the morning listening to the news which mainly consisted of a lot of talk about WILDFIRES destroying vast swathes of Europe and much discussion about an AI programme hacking into another AI programme and even Sam Altman having to admit that AI probably needs regulating as a result. Of course, the two stories are connected - every time your nan posts an artificially generated meme of Jesus stopping a puppy from drowning an entire river dries up - but neither story was being covered with the kind of urgency I feel is warranted given we now live in a burning world where robots can do whatever they like! 

Obviously I’m thigh-deep in catastrophic thinking here, which you may already know is my metier, and will rein myself back in shortly. My husband braces himself on every evening stroll we take, always knowing I’m going to say something incredibly harrowing in a jarringly breezy tone. But I can’t help it, a propensity to zone in on the bleakest outlook can be found in the very deepest parts of my bone marrow. Every time I speak to my mum, it’s a race to see who can deflate the other first. “Did you hear that Nigel Farage just got a clean bill of health from his GP?” “Did you see mental illness is on the rise in dogs?” “Did you notice that David Attenborough is very frail now?” “Have you considered how long it’s been since a meteor struck the earth and that probably means we’re due one?” “Do you think microplastics will cause us irreversible brain damage now or much later on?” It’s part of the wider Mackie universe too, simply dozens of us searching out the worst angle on any given topic. We’ve got one relative who you can physically see gearing up for a ghoulish moment. They yearn for the bleakness like a tired hiker might yearn for iced water on a hot day. “Did you hear Jerry died? Och it was terrible, he suffered a great deal and it was all incredibly mortifying for Shelley to boot. Imagine having to see your husband’s balls looking like that? Wizened I tell you, almost mottled with distress, what a tragedy to have balls like that at his young age. Not to mention they way they found him, balls face down in wax. Och the shame of it.” 

Anyway I’m not going to do it to you! Not today. It's summertime, you might be on holiday. Maybe you’re packing right now, wondering whether or not you’ve got enough shoes. Shoes are such a holiday problem aren’t they? I used to pack heels for a summer holiday, as if I was going to hobble down the cobbles and risk breaking an ankle on a hilly Tuscan street just so I could pose for a photo where my ankles wouldn’t look quite so lumpen. Even without a heel, what do you pack? Sandals obviously, but if we risk a trainer then the suitcase is getting dangerously full and are you really going to wear Gazelles in 38 degree heat when forest fires are circling and actually, yes you might need them to run (I’m reining it in, just in my own time ok?). But if you don’t take trainers, aren’t you left a bit vulnerable? I feel weirdly exposed without a shoe for all seasons, so I compromise and take two pairs of sandals as if this helps anyone. 

Anyway, you're packing (maybe). You don’t want perimenopausal Chicken Little screeching in your face. You want book recommendations and you want ice cream but I cannot provide the latter via the limited medium of Substack so here we are. You might not even think you want book recommendations but I assure you, you do. You yearn for them like our aforementioned hiker yearns for a cool glass of water on a hot day or like my relative yearns for bad news. Increasingly I see books as the only wholesome activity other than gardening and not everyone has a patch of land/is middle-aged and newly looking longingly at Verbena (a valuable hardy perennial!). Books might not save us but they’ve always been champions at softening the landing. My mental health is never better than when I am reading regularly, even if that’s just a chapter or two a day. So here are some top-notch books to escape into during the (hopefully last for a while) heatwave. They are entirely random, not particularly new or universally acclaimed. My only criteria was that all of them had me gripped, which is what you want on a holiday where you can’t go outside because the heat makes you feel faintly like you might have a panic attack. Ok I’m stopping now! 

If you want dead bodies and cliffhangers - 

Yes I did put my own novel in here, I don’t just do catastrophic thinking I also do shamelessness. Some may quibble with the inclusion of McEwan here (including probs the man himself) but I think it counts and would’ve actually been a MUCH better book had he just stuck to the crimey bits. If you’ve not read any Josephine Tey, start with The Daughter Of Time maybe? Not to be chronological, just because it’s so fucking entertaining and clever (but all her books are divine). And Then There Were None is the scariest Christie, and you cannot go wrong with a Val McDermid novel. The Secret History could’ve been in nearly any category here, it’s just a perfect book.

If you want a tried & tested classic - 

If you’ve not read The Camomile Lawn yet, I’m so jealous. A gem! Muriel Spark is a witty genius and I’m assuming you’ve read The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie otherwise I’d have suggested that too. I met her on holiday once, but I was an awkward teenager and missed the opportunity to have a great story to tell you about her. What an idiot I am/was. Hardy & Jackson I’ve added because they’re both writers I’ve only just got into reading and these were my entry points. Nineteen eighty-four is here because everyone should legally have to read it if they’re going to invoke it (plus it’s legitimately good and gripping).

If you want classy women - 

I realise if I go through every single book we’ll both be here for ages when you should be packing and then unpacking a pair of high heels but let me just say, these are some classy women. I’d have added Janet Malcolm on psychoanalysis too but I can’t find my copy. Ditto bell hooks writing about love in her book Communion.

If you want real life - 

London Falling is such a gripping read for a non-fiction work. Ditto Story Of A Murder, written by the same author of The Five (a look at the lives of the women killed by Jack The Ripper). Butler To The World is a nice companion piece to London Falling. You could also pick up any Pete Ackroyd book about the history of London, they’re all completely fascinating.

If you want to be properly amused - 

Look, humour is subjective but also I’m very funny so I have to imagine you’ll enjoy at least one of these books. Will This Do? is one of the best book titles ever imo.

If you want a real romp (not in the sexy way, in the story way) - 

Villa Coco is great fun if you’re renting a house in Europe this summer or you remember the 90s with longing (me, I do. I hanker for jeans with the waistband hacked off). The Ministry Of Time is just such a fun read, you’re in for a real treat. Bainbridge & Eugenides are masters of the holiday romp. Robert Harris novels also fit this bill, especially Acts Of Oblivion. Nonesuch by my beloved Francis Spufford too.

If you want a big novel which takes up space in your brain -

Sometimes you need a meaty novel to read slowly, putting it down when you need a break and not racing through it in an afternoon. I could’ve added hundreds of novels to this category but then you get confused by all the choice in my experience. This is curated content and oh how I hated typing that.

If you want to read the books I’m currently halfway through - 

Some of these are advanced copies and I cannot give my verdict until I’m finished but I’ve not DNFed any because I am very much enjoying them all!

Claws Out! Is released on the 27th of August, helpfully just after most people go on holiday and have time to read books. But you can order a signed/dedicated copy here for your upcoming autumnal hibernation. Thank you!

Ok go and pack another pair of flip flops. Xx