Cast. Linger. Notice.

I’m not the kind of person who makes resolutions on the dawn of a new year (except for last year - and we all know how that went). I’m not a “word for the year” person, a “new year, new you” believer, or even one who writes basic goals for the next year. My New Year’s Day usually is more about recovery from the past two months of Birthday and Holiday Season than it is about looking forward to the future.

New Year’s Eve or Day usually finds me reflecting over the past year for 10-15 minutes while staring at my empty journal page and naked Christmas tree, followed by an extensive session of hunting and gathering. Hunting for all the things I lost when a gazillion family members invaded my house and decided to rearrange my carefully arranged life. And then gathering all the misplaced items in a pile for me to sort through in the coming days months.

Instead of a big New Year’s Day feast, I’m mostly hunting and pecking for edible leftovers. Instead of watching bowl games, I’m eating big bowls of cereal or ice cream as a last meal before the holidays officially end and I have to make responsible eating choices again.

But this year I’m motivated to suspend the hunting and gathering and pecking for just a few hours and note (for the record) three priorities I’d love to integrate into my life over the next 10 months - before Birthday and Holiday Season come back around again. And none of the following have anything to do with diet, health, or exercise. YAY!!

Here they are, with an accompanying do-it-yourself drum roll if you please:

1. CAST - I love this word. It gives the impression of boldness, courage, character. We can throw, which implies intentional forward aim. We can toss, which makes me think of haphazard play. Or we can cast, which means to throw with force; to propel; send forth; hurl.

   Biblically speaking, we cast nets, stones, lots, and cares. But it’s the last one I’m most interested in this year. The first verse I read yesterday was 1 Peter 5:6-7, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (ESV)

   I had a stressful meeting a few days ago, and I practiced this “casting all my anxieties” on Jesus throughout the entire morning, and it helped keep the anxiety at bay and my mind focused on the most important thing - which, for me, is relationship.

2. LINGER - This word may be overused in our vocabulary, but seldom in reality. I know very few people, including myself, who have mastered the Art of Lingering. Instead of lingering, we tend to endure and survive if we have to, or rush, hurry, and disappear if we can get away with it.

   I was surprised by the definition of linger, which is “to stay in a place longer than necessary because of a reluctance to leave.”1

   To stay longer than necessary. I tried this practice on today, and it seemed to fit. Normally I roll out of bed almost as soon as I wake, but today I lingered. Usually I open the blinds to let in the sun, but today after opening them, I lingered at the window longer than necessary to peer outside. On an average day, I rush out of the house carrying too much stuff in my arms - tea, purse, keys, books or bags - all spilling out around me. But today I went slowly carrying only one thing (my tea, of course) and paused on my driveway. I listened to the neighborhood sounds and took a deep breath of cool air (followed quickly by a sneezing attack because we’re in the middle of ‘cedar fever’ here in the Hill Country).

3. NOTICE - With each year, this simple activity takes on greater importance. To notice what my body is telling me when I sit too long; to be aware of that 5th chocolate kiss I grab out of boredom; to pay attention to where I put my glasses after reading my book; and to see the toll anxiety takes on how I show up for life and loved ones.

   While I’ve been making an effort to notice my life more, I’d like to make it a regular part of my day. To see the look on my grandchild’s face when I say I have to leave; to take note of a stranger’s smile; to pay attention to how my heart races when I think about a particular situation or person. And then to follow through with whatever is needed in that moment - reassurance, a return smile, or a casting of my cares on the One who is always ready to receive my casts.

   The other day, I was running errands and stopped in a store where a new employee was being trained. She struggled with my transaction and apologized for making me wait. After assuring her it was okay, she gave me the most beautiful smile in return. I wanted to tell her I thought her smile was beautiful, but felt it wasn’t appropriate. Now I wish I had.

My New Year’s priorities will be difficult because the world, my life, and my nature pull me in the opposite direction of casting, lingering, and noticing. I have little hope that I’ll succeed at them with regularity. But I think they’re worth noting here, working toward, and praying through.

Just sitting here writing this post has been a good start.

A New Year's Haiku
     'New year, new me' does
     not fit my style. It's restric-
     tive, generic, and
     tasteless. But give me
     minutes to see the unseen,
     simple surprises
     that prove witness to
     life bubbling up, gushing
     forth right before me
     which inspires long-
     ing, wonder, and lingering.
     Give me a haiku
     moment.