Welcome to Being Animal. This newsletter explores the intricacies of human-animal relationships. Through personal stories, commentary on current events, and thought-provoking debates, I hope to challenge your assumptions and deepen your understanding of how animals are treated in our society. How we treat animals matters— for our own health, for our planet, and for our sense of morality and humanity.
I want to make the world a better place for animals. To do this, we have to change how we think about animals.
It’s been almost a year since I got married. We planned an entirely vegan wedding, which was an incredible opportunity to share our love of animals and our passion for helping them with our friends and family. This week, I’m sharing a little more about how we did it!
A year ago tomorrow, I married my wife in Tucson, Arizona. We had an incredible day, saying our vows during golden hour at the foothills of the Saguaro National Park. Our families and friends flew out to celebrate with us, and we had a fantastic time with everyone who came.
But behind the scenes was a lot of work. Planning a wedding is hard. There are always a million voices telling you what you should do, or what decisions you should make. Everyone suddenly has an opinion, and it can be hard to navigate all of the advice (whether solicited or not) you receive.
But it’s important to remember what matters at any event; the rest is just icing on the cake as long as the core goal is met. For us, we cared about throwing an event that celebrated love, minimized suffering, and made everyone feel welcome and warm.
So we knew from the beginning that we wanted to plan a vegan wedding. Being vegan is so important to us, and we wanted to share that passion with our guests. We also wanted to make sure that the joy we felt on our wedding day wasn’t marred by knowingly participating in animal slaughter.
Wanting to throw a vegan wedding helped narrow down our venue options a lot. Many places refused to do it. Some said they would, but only for the entrée, and they’d only offer one option. Finally, we knew we found our venue when they pulled up a menu with dozens of vegan options for hors d’oeuvres, mains, and snacks. It didn’t hurt that this venue offered incredible views of cactus-studded mountains.
Once the venue was in place, we had to work on the details. From my shoes (vegan leather), to the food, to the wedding favors, everything we could control was vegan. We got married at an elegant barn, so we removed the standard leather decorations and brought in our own. We got incredible vegan pastries for our rehearsal. We thought through our outfits, and of course paid attention to every meal we provided.
But it was so worth the extra effort.
I’m sharing this today not because I hope you all throw vegan weddings (though of course, I do!), but because we are heading into the holiday season. The holidays are full of parties, dinners, traditional meals, and family gatherings. Most of these events have default meals associated with them—turkey at Thanksgiving, maybe a ham at Christmas, bacon-wrapped scallops at parties.
But just like with a wedding, it’s important to reflect on what really matters at these events. Is it a deep connection with the food on your plate? Maybe it is. I know some people who don’t eat meat year-round, but make an exception for a particular family recipe during the holidays. But for many others, it’s not about the specific food at all.
Instead, it’s about the vibes, the connection with others, and the celebration. Playing soft music in candlelight over glasses of champagne or mulled wine can evoke the holiday spirit as much, maybe more, as whatever ends up on your plate. Spending time with loved ones is at the core of the holidays for many.
Throwing a vegan (or partly vegan/vegetarian) gathering, no matter the purpose, is important, if quiet, advocacy. Even if you aren’t a committed vegan, it can be an easy way to reduce your animal consumption (and minimize wasted animal products) while offering what is often a lowest-common-denominator meal that everyone can eat.
I won’t lie—planning a vegan event takes a little extra effort sometimes. My wife’s parents have each worked hard to craft vegan meals when we celebrate holidays together. This year, we’re doing Thanksgiving with my family, and I’m already looking at recipes for my family’s “Plantsgiving”—a butternut squash and caramelized onion Wellington, a lentil loaf, mashed potatoes, and stuffing, along with a beautiful batch mocktail. My family is not vegan, but I hope if I cook well enough my family won’t miss the turkey.
When I sit down to celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving with my family, I want to be able to focus on the joy I feel, the gratitude, the promise of hope and light in a season of darkness.
Because that’s what matters most.
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