I might be more American than I though

Hello from LAX,

We came back to Topanga, California and made it a temporary base for our family during this “tour around the world.” We needed a place where we could pause for a bit and actually work. We’ve been here for over a month now and we are loving it.

Topanga is technically a neighborhood of Los Angeles. In the Native American Chumash language it means “Where the mountain meets the sea.” Which describes the place perfectly. It’s tucked into the Santa Monica Mountains, surrounded by nature, yet still somehow part of LA.

The kids are signed up at a local school for a few weeks (phew), which means they have friends and routines, and I can travel when needed to remote villages in South America for my research on colored cotton.

So in theory this is just a practical stop.

But being in the US again — first in New York in October, then in Topanga in December, and now back again — got me thinking about something.

I think that I am more American tan I thought.

Ouch.

For those who are new here: I’m a French citizen, I spent 9 years in Mexico City then 11 years in New York and then 2 years in Marseille (the only two years in France in my adult life) I’m now on a tour around the world to research colored cotton with my family, and we spent some time in the US in the last months.

I’m still very confused with this feeling, so I’m not sure whether this will be a very articulated note, but I feel that I need to let it out.

As soon as I landed in California in November, it felt familiar and I was so excited to be there, to go to the supermarket and find the good all brands I had bought for a decade when living in New York.

And then there were teh small interactions, “the small talks”

The casual friendliness of strangers. The way people start conversations on the street or while ordering coffee.

In France we usually observe (judge?) first and speak later. In the US people tend to start talking immediately. And to my surprise, I slipped right back into it.

For a long time I thought of the United States as a chapter of my life. Eleven intense years in New York where I built my business, had my children, and shaped much of my adult life.

But still just a chapter.

Being back here is making me reconsider that.

Mexico shaped my curiosity and my connection to artisans and craft.
France remains my cultural backbone.

But the US, shaped my sense of possibilities. And actually as soon as I arrived my brain was again in a deconstruction / reconstruction mode: rethinking entirely my brand Behind the Hill and the way I have been working in the past years. (more on this soon!)

The idea that you can try things. Start things. Invent a life that doesn’t necessarily follow the script you were given is very American I think. It’s a mindset.

Living in the US for more than a decade must have planted something in me. Maybe the strong belief that if you have an idea, you might as well try to make it happen.

Looking back, many of the biggest decisions of my life happened there.

Starting a company based on a passion from travel and textiles.
Becoming a mother.
Building a life far from where I grew up.

So perhaps it’s not so surprising that a part of me still feels at home here. Which leaves me with a slightly confusing identity as I thought I was 100% French again.

Sorry, I’m definitely thinking out loud right now.

Welcome to my brain!

I just read again the note “Cultural shock at home” which I wrote a few months ago, when living in France, and it feels even more accurate today.

What does that mean for the future?

Mmmh not sure yet but we really love that mountain that meets the sea…

Leave a comment

Anyway!

I always like to give you some useful takeaway so here you go, in case you are in the Los Angeles area some day:

(It’s quite new to me, and there are so many more things to explore, but that’s a start)

The most beautifully curated independent shops:

• Kinship Station

• Moona Star

• The Well Refill

Really good workout:

• Awen Pilates

Restaurants:

• Inn of the Seventh Ray (outdoor tables by a creek)

• Endless Color (great for meeting locals)

• Cafe on 27 (for the food and the view)

Trails everywhere!
Ocean views, waterfalls, forests: it’s honestly stunning.

And the creeks. When it’s hot (and it has been really hot recently) you just find a creek and jump in.

I love that it’s technically Los Angeles, but it feels like a completely different world.

That’s all for now. I’m flying to Mexico today. I’ll be in Central America for the next three months. The rest of the family will join me next week.

First stop: Oaxaca. I’ll spend a couple of days at my house on the coast, Monte Lalala, and then I’ll be on the road visiting artisan partners who work with heirloom colored cotton.

Fell free to follow along here.

Thank you for reading,

Maud

I’m Maud Lerayer, I share stories that weave together culture, design, craftsmanship, and travel through my textile brand Behind the Hill and my newsletter Off the Beaten Path.

I also co-own Monte Lalala, in Oaxaca - Feel free to ask for info directly here

Here are a few ways to support my work: you can leave a comment, share this post with a friend, or become a free or paid subscriber. Thank you!