Honesty is something I had to learn, and continue to learn to this day.
And I’m not talking about the obvious definition of honesty.
I’m talking about being real with myself
my wants, my needs, my happiness,
the life that I want, and can’t stop picturing in my head.
I know you probably have visions too.
Of yourself in a completely different life.
Maybe it’s a new career, creating, travel, community, relationships, or all of the above.
And when you think about that version of you,
you feel excited and confused at the same time.
It’s interesting how, as women, being honest with ourselves is one of the first things we’re taught to ignore.
We’re told to “be grateful,” to “be thankful,” to “take what we can get.”
It’s rarely “take what you deserve,” or “try something new.”
Being multifaceted gets labeled as scattered.
Curious becomes unfocused.
But if you look at nature, multiple things can exist at once.
The sun and clouds can be out, and it can still rain.
It can be summer somewhere and winter somewhere else.
You can feel happy and sad at the same time.
You can have multiple interests, multiple paths, multiple versions of yourself.
You can change careers.
Start something new.
Try again.
All of the above.
Because who’s really stopping you?
You.
And you know that.
Maybe you haven’t defined it yet.
Or maybe you have… and you’ve been avoiding it.
“I don’t know what I want” isn’t always true.
I still catch myself saying “I don’t know” as a filler phrase when I can’t find the words to convey what I’m trying to say.
I also say “I don’t know” when I’m too tired to make a decision, and to be honest, sometimes when I don’t want to make the decision.
But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s this:
The words we say out loud and to ourselves eventually become our reality.
A simple example of that is when you’re having a rough day and say something like, “This day can’t get any worse.”
Doesn’t it usually?
Your words are powerful.
Your thoughts are powerful.
So why would you keep affirming to yourself that you don’t know what you want?
Most of the time, we just haven’t given ourselves the space to think.
And I’m talking about undistracted.
Away from the noise.
With our phones put away.
There’s a reason the majority of our elders got up at 5 AM to have “me time.”
It’s mandatory to take time for yourself to think in some capacity.
Most of the time, when we say we don’t know, it comes from a deeper place.
A fear of being seen.
A fear of being perceived.
A fear of change.
And I get it, change is scary.
But so is the alternative: staying the same.
Getting honest with yourself means acknowledging the things that keep coming up. The thoughts.
The feelings.
The visions you keep trying to push away.
And I know daydreaming, or “visualizing,” was frowned upon for a lot of us.
And to an extent, I get it.
If you’re not intentional, you can easily keep living in the future.
And that becomes a waste of time.
But like we spoke about earlier, the cheat code is making time for it.
You have to keep the dream alive.
Want to make a certain amount of money?
Move to another country?
Get a new job?
Create content?
Write?
Buy the car, the apartment, the house?
Build a new relationship?
Improve the one you already have?
You can want those things.
It’s not far-fetched.
It only feels that way because you’ve either never had it before, never done it before, or stopped believing it was possible.
So don’t shy away from wanting more.
You are worthy of more.
You deserve more.
Get honest with yourself about how much you’ve limited your own imagination.
Because this is where things shift.
Awareness is only the beginning.
Now comes the part where you define what you actually want.
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