Leading With Vulnerability

I recently listened to an inspirational episode of the Modern Manager Podcast. In it, Jacob Morgan, a best-selling author and leadership trainer, discussed how to lead with vulnerability.

Jacob says that simply being vulnerable isn’t good. Over-indexing on vulnerability can influence others to view you as unfit for the job. However, leading with vulnerability means exposing gaps that you have and then demonstrating what you’re trying to do to close them.

Here are strategies I learned from this episode on leading with vulnerability.

An example of being vulnerable is owning a mistake: “I know that I was supposed to complete this task. I’m sorry I missed the due date.” In this example, you opened up about the missed deadline, but it left your manager feeling like you didn’t know how to manage your time.

Instead, leading with vulnerability is, “I know I was supposed to complete this task. I’m sorry I missed the due date, but here’s my plan to finish it by the end of the month.”

In this example, you own your mistake and describe how you’ll close the gap.

Let’s see how leading with vulnerability can help you as an engineering manager.

When I scheduled my first team meeting, I introduced myself and said, “I know our previous manager left big shoes to fill, but I’m going to do my best. I expect I’ll go through a few bumps along the way, so I want to ask for your help and support during this transition.” Then, I invited them to ask questions. I thought I did a great job — until I listened to Jacob.

Jacob said many managers take the approach I took. On the surface, it sounds good. However, it doesn’t leave the team aware of my plan to close my gaps. He recommends sprinkling in leadership. For instance: “I know our previous manager left big shoes to fill, but I will do my best. I expect I’ll go through a few bumps along the way, so I’ll meet with my mentor weekly to review my leadership style. I’m also taking this leadership course, etc.”

This new approach convinces the team that you’re going to do your best to be a good leader for them.

As you encounter new situations, I recommend using the “No, but” framework if you don’t have an answer to a question.

Using “No, but” will help remind you to sprinkle in the leadership Jacob recommends, which will let you lead with vulnerability.

For instance, recently, someone asked me about transferring a license from one system to another. I wasn’t familiar with the particular system they were asking about, so I said, “I’m not an expert in this system, but I’ll invite this person to the next call. They’ll be able to educate us about the steps involved.”

Jacob highlights that thanking someone for their contribution is an example of vulnerability. This wasn’t obvious to me. I felt like this was simply expected from leaders, but Jacob explains that not all leaders do this.

Some leaders find it difficult to let their employees know that the team wouldn’t be where they’re at without them.

As a leader, you should express gratitude to your team. Otherwise, people will think they work for someone who doesn’t appreciate their contribution.

I recommend listening to the following episode of Modern Manager and reading Jacob’s book Leading with Vulnerability.