One night I started watching a movie called Starcrash... then this happened. We watch all kinds of movies and have a good time talking about them. We discuss the most important parts of the films including quotes and WTF moments!
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“What are you acting all crazy for?”The Nicolas-athon Cage-athon continues with our first Werner Herzog joint, The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call: New Orleans: Can We Possibly Fit Any More Colons into This Title? Topics discussed include the Millenium Films catalog, the film-ness of this film, Herzog’s career, breaking the 180-degree rule, Terence’s “save the cat” moment, a fine Goodfellas…
“I cried throughout the entire thing. It made me want to be a better man.” We’re at the end of an era, folks. The Nicolas Cage season of Because You Watched Starcrash draws to a close with our obligatory holiday movie and a spectacular piece of metafiction. Your Distinguished Professors and salute the man of the hour. Topics discussed include our latest accompanying whiskey, yet another…
Vampire’s Kiss (1988) “You’re in the goddamn crapper, Loew, and I’m trying to take a dump. So either shut up and leave the acting lessons for home or go back to the ladies’ room.” Is it a deft American Psycho -level satire, a taut supernatural or psychological thriller, or insane, ridiculous crap? That’s the question facing our Distinguished Professors as they discuss the 1988 Nicolas Cage…
“Where’s Conan when you need him?” The distinguished professors discuss Jim Wynorski’s The Lost Empire and continue to do this profit-turning genius appropriate homage. Topics include trying to figure out what genre this film fits into, comparison with Fu Manchu, its Producers -like origins, self-aware dumbness and sexploitation, connections with Russ Meyer, Elvira-level wordplay, video game…
Ho-Ho-Hallmark Holiday Special A Christmas Wedding Tail (2011), A Christmas Melody (2015), and Christmas Mail (2010) “Don’t worry, I’m a city girl. This small town is not for me.” Welcome to our 2023 Holiday Special, in which your three Distinguished Professors move from the big city to a small town and find love in only the most formulaic of ways! We invite our podcast’s first special guest,…
Willy's Wonderland (2021) - Because You Watched Starcrash
“I had a miserable time tonight because of you.” It’s our first Francis Ford Coppola joint on Because You Watched Starcrash! And Kathleen Turner! Oh, and some other guy who was once named Coppola is in it, too. Your Distinguished Professors watched an early entry in the Nicholas Cage-verse, Peggy Sue Got Married, and now you’re going to hear about it! Topic discussed include Madonna’s genitals,…
“This is a story whose chapters were carefully written.” In their ongoing exploration of the filmography of one Nicolas “Jor-El” Cage, the Distinguished Professors have watched the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man , which has 100% less depth and 1000% fewer boobs (don’t check my math) than the original. Topics covered include the intense dumbness of the conspiracy to trap our hero, the clunkiness of…
Ho-Ho-Holiday Special III – GI Joe: A Real American Hero Episode 1:39, “Cobra Claws are Coming to Town” (1985) and He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985) “Well, I don’t like to feel good. I like to feel EVIL!” Your Distinguished Professors have prepared quite the holiday treat – we’re going back to 1985 with two ridiculously bad extended yuletide toy commercials! Topics discussed include…
Back to the Future (1985), Back to the Future Part II (1989), and Back to the Future Part III (1990) “What are you looking at, Butthead?” In an amazing finale, your time-traveling Distinguished Professors end their journey with the Back to the Future trilogy! Topics discussed include Back to the Future ’s enduring excellence, the issues with the sequels, Part II ’s surprisingly weak visual effects…
