Things Go Monster

With the onset of Fall, one’s thoughts turn to the changing of leaves, the carving of pumpkins, the laughter of children as they emerge from the corn, eyes aglow with a fierce blue light — and, of course, seasonally relevant comics and drawings. So I thought I’d dig through the ol’ archives and find a few favorites to lovingly tuck into the adhesive corners of this digital scrapbook. Comics like this Birthday Street from 2013:

When I was a wee lad, I used to get excited about costumes. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself less and less compelled to wear one. Which, I think, might be a mistake. The shedding of one’s skin, the donning of a fantastic new you — it can be very gratifying. A person can explore a side of themselves they must hide 364 days the rest of the year. But I’m a busy person, and its much quicker for me to satisfy this urge on paper than in real life. Observe — here’s three very average, day-to-day, Kevins:

Now, in mere seconds, using the power of drawing, I can turn these snore-a-minute bozos into three terrifying legends of horror!

Now, I didn’t really watch horror movies growing up, so I had to do a bit of sleuthing to really nail the details. According to google, Jason Voorhees is a well-respected children’s dentist from Akron, Ohio; Fred Krueger is a data-analyst from New Jersey’s Haddonfield Township with over 400 connections on LinkedIn; and Michael Myers is a off-and-on enrollee at Western Nebraska Community College who lives with his sister and brother-in-law, loves fly fishing, and has two marijuana possession charges!

I can feel my spine chilling as we speak!

This one is from the Bearskinrug archives, “One Terrible Night in the Castle of Dr. Frankenstein“…

If you can believe, there was a time before Mojo Clean, when castles were filthy. You’d be terrified—TERRIFIED—that someone would come to visit and see how dirty your castle was. And, conversely, when you visited someone’s castle, you couldn’t relax because you knew they were self-conscious about their castle, and you understood how that felt so you’d just waste hours on small talk instead of getting the 800-lb gorilla out of the room and just saying “Okay, so your castle is a little filthy—everyone’s is! Let’s talk about YOU” and opening up the conversation to a million different topics! Mojo Clean solved that. That’s not a problem for any of you anymore, and yeah, maybe it’s not your fault you can’t appreciate it, but YOU SHOULD KNOW.

#mojomadevisitingcastlestolerableagain

This next comic I picked because I like how the monster is drawn:

Actually, I got a lot of good monster drawings in the old archives here to choose from…

You know, I never really considered how much of my life I’ve spent drawing monsters. I never planned to be a monster artist, but… I guess I’ve drawn enough of them that’s something to consider. Now that I think about it… I have two whole books featuring monsters. Weird. Well, that’s the trouble with making stuff. You leave a trail of creations behind you that becomes your legacy, even though you might not intend it. I mean, I thought the legacy I’d be leaving behind was drawings of butter churns. Check this one out:

This bad-ass barrel churn is from 1850! I know, I know—seems fiddly because you’ll have to keep opening it up to see if it’s butter, right? But here’s the thing—you just listen for a particular sound, a sort of squash-squash-squash which means the cream has turned to butter! You can go from udder to butter in TWENTY MINUTES.

What? That doesn’t impress you?

Fine.

Here’s a new monster comic.

NOW GET OUT OF MY DIARY!

I’m want to fill the rest of this entry with my tears.