Your last, last, last, last, last chance to preorder my book (for real this time).

Do you remember the first time you procrastinated? I was in grade school when my teacher wrote “procrastination” on the board in big white letters. Even then, I was obsessed with words, and I really liked that one. Then, she told us what it meant…

Yep. The p-word resonated a little too much with 10-year-old Barrie, though, not enough to discourage me from doing it over, and over, and over, and over again. Which leads me to today:

I have less than two days to sell 15 more copies of my debut book of poetry and prose, Lacquer is a Thrilling Word, before the pre-order period ends (for real this time).

Yes, preorders were supposed to end yesterday, and, yes, I had accepted that I would be a few dozen copies shy of my goal, but now that Finishing Line Press has extended the deadline through the weekend, I’m asking for your help (I’m talking to you, my fellow procrastinators, slackers, and ADHD havers) to make it happen. You can order your copy, or five copies, here.

Already bought your copy? First of all, way to flex. Second of all, you know that friend who’s birthday aways sneaks up on you? Or, how you’re always meaning to put a book in that little free library down the block? Consider buying another copy to share! Your friend or neighbor will thank you, and so will I!

Still not sold? Try a few of these pitches on for size:

1. For the nonchalant purchaser: Hey there slackers who didn’t get around to ordering my book! Lucky for you, I just found out you can still pre-order my book through the weekend. I promise I did not find this out until yesterday. So yay, it’s not too late for you to get it, but it will be too late soon. Venmo me if you can’t deal with the FLP site and I’ll get you squared away.

2. For the poetry hater: Did your English teacher ruin poetry for you? Does your jaw clench when you hear the word “stanza?” Let me change your mind! You have until Sunday night to pre-order my book of poetry and prose, Lacquer is a Thrilling Word. It’s a poetry re-do. It’s fun, silly, and interesting, I promise. Buy it here.

3. For the person who reads all the Amazon reviews before hitting “Order”: I’ve told you before that I hate self promotion, so I’ll let my friend, A.T. Gruber, do it for me: One night, Douglas and I were watching TV and on the screen was a guy walking down the street eating cereal. An ad or something. I don’t remember. For some reason this image of the guy eating cereal on the street - in a bowl, with milk, with spoon - incensed me and I started ranting about how stupid it was to eat a bowl of cereal while walking down the street. It was a brief rant, and when I was through, Douglas said, “But I bet if Barrie Cole was walking down the street eating cereal, you’d think it was the coolest. You’d be like ‘I just saw Barrie Cole doing the most fascinating thing ever: eating cereal out of a bowl on the street… If you want to understand why I never shut up about this writer, my friend, the brilliant Barrie Cole, then you should buy this book. You’ve never read poems like this, I promise.”

4. For the “little treat” connoisseur: My book is $20.99, which is the equivalent to
   • A venti iced coffee and breakfast sandwich from Starbucks
   • One month subscription to Netflix
   • One bottle of “nice” wine at Whole Foods

   That $20.99 might feel small in the moment, but when you choose to spend it on an independent author, it makes a huge difference. Grab it here.

Last but not least:

5. For my friends: Wow. Can you believe we are at the end of the pre-order period? The outpouring of support I’ve received over the last month and a half has been truly amazing. I can’t thank you all enough. If you’re willing and able, please consider purchasing a copy (or another copy) of my book. I only need 15 orders or so more to reach my goal. After that, you never have to hear me say “last chance…” or “time’s running out…” again. Well, at least until the next book…