Your anima/animus is the personification of your unrealized possibilities. The intense aching to merge with it is the grandest of romances. — Marchiano, Stewart and Lee, Dream Wise
Who do you love?
In depth psychology, the anima/animus contains our unrealized potential.
But what does that really mean?
According to the authors of the Jungian dream guide, Dream Wise, we are born with “a blueprint for our unique developmental destiny.”
A blueprint—not a kit.
Meaning that we don’t have everything we need, at least not handy.
According to Jungian thought, in fact, we have many undeveloped abilities and capacities. In Carl Jung’s traditionally gendered system, the anima (a feminine figure who appears to men) or animus (a male figure to women) represents this potential.
The anima/animus is an aspect of our psyche that may appear in dreams or in fantasy or in our creative work in order to help us better understand the person we are meant to be. We are drawn to this figure because it can make us whole.
For M-F romance writers, this may mean that it isn’t our female lead who represents our ideal self.
It’s the hero.
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Heroes I have written
In dreams, our animus figure can help us better understand our life experience. And, for me, what is true of dreams is equally true of writing.
In my first unpublished fantasy story, the hero understood the cost of infidelity and how it affected the woman he betrayed. The second chance romance I’m working on now has a similar dynamic.
The female lead in my upcoming vampire story has a trauma history. Her behavior reflects that. It isn’t always pretty, but the vampire gets it and accepts her as she is.
For me, this is important.
But these stories aren’t really about reframing old relationships or rewriting old boyfriends. They’re about reframing the way I think about myself.
Because if stories are like dreams, all of my characters are parts of myself. And if I’m writing about my relationship to myself, the animus look-a-like in my stories isn’t really a vampire or a fallen angel or a fairy lord.
He is me.
Or could be.
And the books I write and the books I love aren’t really about a man who might supernaturally understand me. They’re about me learning to understand and accept myself.
I’m currently publishing two romances here on Substack. Both are obvious examples of this idea—though it is not immediately apparent.
You can start here:
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