Outfits for Tutu School, Playdates, and Putting in the Reps

“So, let me get this straight.

You’ve been a stay-at-home mom for two years. You’ve published on Substack every Sunday for the last year. Your kids are three and one. They’ve never been in daycare.

Our listeners are dying to know. How do you make the time to write?

And is that jam on your shoulder?”

This is how I imagine Diane Sawyer opening our interview while I sit in a plush green velvet chair, fingers grazing a second cup of coffee. My bangs, micro. My dress, midi.

This is obviously a dream. Or a nightmare if you’re afraid of public speaking on national television.

“Diane. Girl. You wanna know the secret?” I ask with a wink.

Diane Sawyer leans in. She’s probably hoping for a better answer, something about how I wake up refreshed at 4 a.m. or that I’m able to type 135 words a minute with my eyes closed.

The truth? I’m not a morning person, and I write slowly. But I do get one workday a week1, specifically between the hours of 7 a.m. and 2:45 p.m.2, and this is how I usually spend the time:

• caffeinate, quickly

• walk my dog

• noodle on what to write about

• start a draft and try not to pick apart every sentence as I go along

• pick apart every sentence as I go along

• drink more coffee

• self-sabotage-scroll3

• edit until my eyes burn

• and apparently now I also need to drink water

“You’re putting in the reps,” my husband said recently.

He’s good at encouragement (keep going), which is great because I’m good at worrying (what if I’ve hit a ceiling?).

Every week, I sit down, stare at a blinking cursor4, write something I hope is original, revise every sentence to the nth degree, hit publish, and then hope it resonates.

Sometimes it does. Vulnerability met with an enthusiastic response is validating. An oozy, full-body warm feeling that’s hard to describe. But when it’s not? I’m working on just moving forward. Another rep down, one more to go, and so on.

I’d love to say consistency eventually cures self-doubt, but that hasn’t exactly been my experience. What it does create, though, is self-trust and a habit. Lucky for me, this habit involves doing something I genuinely love to do. Write, edit, connect.

Aside from having a good time putting words on a page, continuing to publish weekly on Substack feels like a sanity-saving job to me right now. It’s the thing that fuels the other things. When people ask what I do, I can now say without hesitation that I’m a stay-at-home mom and a writer. I want to keep saying it.

Which is why giving up my dedicated work shift this week was a risky choice.

Our original plan was to treat Memorial Day like any other Monday. While other families slathered on sunscreen at the beach, we were going to divide and conquer. I’d take the kids to the playground, and my husband would head to the office. With a short week, something had to give, and neither of us wanted to give up a work day.

Except one of us (me, the girl with a self-imposed Sunday deadline and no paycheck) technically could.

Right before handoff, maybe because it was the first day I’d be solo since my mother-in-law’s month-long stay, I stopped my husband as he headed for the back door.

“Hang out with us today?” I said in my best sing-songy voice. “You can have Thursday. I’ll give up my writing day.”

After asking me multiple times if I was sure (I’ve never, not once, willingly given this day up), he set his work tote down.5

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ve got a plan!”

I’d document my outfits during the week for a “what I wore” post rather than dig deep for revelations or to research the underrated clothing category called skorts (stay tuned, lol). It doesn’t take less time or effort to record a week of getting dressed. I bow down to the likes of Anna Newton, Meighan Grady, Lindsay Sword, and all the Substack superstars who do this so well on the reg, they make it look easy. It’s not.

But! It’s a formula. This would be something I could chip away at in the evenings and wrap up on Saturday night.6 In the spirit of what Stephanie Johnson shared in her most recent post, “What I Wore, Bought, and Thought About This Week,” this felt like an opportunity to release the need to reinvent the wheel while still putting in the reps.

I could use a little release.

Plus, I had a lot of fun last time.

I took this outfit photo approximately 10 seconds after my husband agreed to our new Memorial Day plan. The relief I felt in that moment… the happiness pictured is real! We decided to spend the day in Long Beach (our happy place, might move there) and bop around with coffees in hand. I just had to be back home by 5:30 for Pilates because I’d rather fake my own death than pay a no-show fee.

My favorite part of the day was when we stumbled upon another family in the historic Carroll Park neighborhood. The mom was wearing a cute striped set and her husband instantly clicked with mine. They had a 14-month-old, too, and a four-year-old the same exact height as our three-year-old. We talked about stuff that normally takes a couple dates to get into. Needless to say, numbers were exchanged.

The only Memorial Day sale purchase I made was a restock of my Hanni Rich Rinse and Cocoon Cleanse. I thought I’d shop the Prism Boutique sale IRL, but they were closed and I didn’t want to be online. For the best! I’d already spent my monthly fun money on these pants anyway.

I knew I’d be wearing my metallic ballet flats to take Soleil to Tutu School, so I built the outfit around them. For no other reason than they were the first thing that came to mind, my Made Some nylon pants were next. The weather was slightly misty with a chance of unpredictable, so I topped them off with the cap-sleeved vest I’d picked up from Clare V. in Montecito. The fleece lining provided just enough warmth without making me regret my decision by noon.

This is the last time these pants were seen on my bod. I decided to list them on Depop the next day. Like Laurel Pantin said in her store when Ariane Anusbigian and I tried them on, these pants look best with a tighter (“sluttier”) fit. She was right. I bought them in a size 4 but would have loved a size 3, a size that doesn’t exist. And I stand by this truth: life is too short to wear the wrong size pants.

They sold so quickly. Should I share my secondhand listings here first next time?

It was the first day in a month that I’d been solo with the kids for 8.5 straight hours, and we spent five of them out of the house—ballet, bookstore, lunch, park. It wasn’t easy, but it felt good to conquer the day and get back into the swing of reality again. As soon as my husband clocked out from work, I fled the scene, walking to our bedroom and locking the door so I could starfish on my bed and text my friends. I begrudgingly returned for dinner.

The love affair many women have with Donni is how I feel about Relax Lacrosse Brand. I love my Donni pants, but I LOVE my Relax Lacrosse Brand pants, ya feel me? I get zero commission for saying this, and I’ve never been gifted a pair. I just genuinely feel very myself in these (available for preorder, size up). Add in disco slides with sequins, throw on a little leopard for armor, and good to go.

My mom came over to help with Romy (the cute one-year-old with the ponytail) so I could take Soleil (sorry, “Elsa”) to swim class. After a year of outings with two, it feels dramatically easier to be out with just one kid. I savor these one-on-one afternoons! After swim, we went back home for lunch and spent most of the day in our backyard. We put a lot of work into making this space a happy place to hang. You should see what it looked like three years ago—it could’ve inspired an entire Stephen King novel.

One of my best friends sends me things on Depop coupled with a “you need these” text on a regular basis, and that’s how I scored these green Simon Miller pants a few years ago. You can still find them on secondhand sites (like here) in a variety of colors. The pants influenced the rest: this lightweight tee, fun socks, and Salomons.

It’s hot and cold over here in the spring, so I knew I’d need a layering piece. I originally threw this purple crewneck over my shoulders but then pivoted to a blue striped button-up (similar) when the purple/green combo made me feel like Barney.

Another ballet class, park, shopping, lunch, home.

I could do a whole post on the things I put on after we return from several hours out of the house. Should I? My pants got dirty from our picnic playdate, so I replaced those with a cozy pair of yellow cotton shorts I found at a vintage pop-up in Costa Mesa. My button-up conveniently covers a splotch of peanut butter on the shoulder of my white tee.

Shoes, off. Countdown to bedtime, on.

The pant drama continues. Today, I’m exchanging my Donni pants because I’d noticed a small knot in them about ten minutes after putting them on. They’re giving me a refund rather than sending me a new pair, so now I’m back to square one and wondering if I should reorder them in bell pepper or in an entirely new color! Thoughts? If you read last week’s Bangers Only, you know how I feel about pistachio…

A couple things I’ve learned after documenting this week’s outfits:

1. Aside from my never-take-off necklace and occasional earrings, I usually forget to add jewelry to an outfit. I’d like to accessorize more and start reserving some shopping funds for fresh bling instead of another pair of pants.

2. If I’m ever not feeling brave, I should remind myself that I basically wore a white tee every day for a week with two kids. That shit’s brave.

Cheers to more spontaneous family days, figuring it out as we go, and putting in the reps! Have a great Sunday. xx E

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