On This Day in History...

On View: May 2- May 29, 2022

In 2019, I sensed trouble brewing when Dunkin’ Donuts shortened its name to “Dunkin’,” stylized as “DNKN.” I already had a problem on my hands with my initials: JNKW. I’d noticed for a while on the Internet that when someone misspells the word “know,” it locks in as “jnkw,” with the most common phrase being: “I don’t jnkw.” Thousands upon thousands of jnkws on the Internet. As more people do or don’t jnkw, the more spellcheck overlooks the mistake, the more artificial intelligence integrates it as natural language. So, of course, I got worried when a powerhouse coffee chain stirred “DNKN” into the orthographic mix (if that’s the word), wreaking havoc for my personal brand.

I should have seen it coming. Dunkin’ has a history with words. In 2006, the company ran an ultranationalistic campaign mocking Starbucks for its fancy drinks, because at Dunkin’ “You order them in English, not Fritalian.” This dumb-as-shit advertisement reinforced the workaday, salt-of-the-earth, white-bread cultural identity that is the Massachusetts-based company’s main export, converting the population through mind, spirit, and tastebud in its creeping westward expansion. The majority of the 9,384 Dunkin’ locations in the USA are clustered in the east. The first arrived in California as recently as 2014. Today, fewer than five in Wyoming, zero in Idaho, and at most thirty-five in Oklahoma, as of this writing. An entire state, shaped like a deep fryer basket . . . and only thirty-five Dunkins. I’m sure this will change. The Dunkin’ offensive never stalls, it simply regroups. Unconquered lands are “available markets” for tomorrow’s franchisee. Mark my words, and upon my good name, there will be more DNKN in OK, for better or for worse. This much I jnkw.

-James N. Kienitz Wilkins