Beauty In Suffering (A Soft Hallelujah)

One of the hardest things to face, or even talk about, is suffering.

It’s in those painful moments of loss, heartache, or trauma that we begin to question everything, including God—especially God. When we’re hurting, nothing seems to make sense, and the harder we try to understand it, the worse it feels. We struggle to comprehend how a loving God could allow such things to happen to us, or the people we love. We blame Him. We use that pain as a reason to stop believing altogether.

But suffering is precisely when we need God’s strength the most.

We need Him every moment of every day, in our joys and in our hardships. But in our darkest moments, we feel that need more intensely. We want Him to fix what’s broken. If we’re honest, we want anyone to fix it. But some wounds, some traumas, simply can’t be healed by human hands. Only God can help us get through them.

I’ve been trying—really trying—to lean on God in those desperate times. I always have, in a way. But trusting Him has been harder. Like so many other people, I want to believe fully, without wavering, especially when life falls apart. I don’t want to rage at Him or question His goodness. But I do it. I think we all have done it. When pain grips our hearts, our humanity shows, and it’s hard not to ask Why, God?

Still, even in our trials, there are slivers of beauty if we look closely enough. A flower’s intricate perfection. The strength of an old tree. A mountain’s steady presence. A sky painted with clouds or stars. These seemingly small wonders are gifts from God, moments of healing for our emotional, spiritual, and physical selves. If we bring our whole hearts to Him—our grief, our anger spoken with reverence, our honest questions—He will meet us where we are. And if we look back, we will remember the countless times He has carried us before.

I have seen God’s hand in my life more times than I can count. I have lived through things I should not have survived. Unmistakable, unbelievable moments where the only explanation was His protection. Yet when something new goes wrong, it’s so easy to forget every good thing, every past deliverance. Instead of remembering blessings, our minds rush to every old wound. I’ve done this too often—telling God, My whole life has been nothing but hardship. Will it ever change? Will it ever get better? And sometimes I even add, But if it doesn’t, Your will be done. I will still love You.

Years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to say that. I saw my suffering only as punishment or failure. I remembered my past sins and assumed that my hardships were tied to them. But I know better now. I’ve confessed them, one by one, and repented of as many as my memory could hold. God has forgiven me. He is not punishing me. And because of that, I have to stop looking backward. I can’t be like Lot’s wife, turning toward what God has already freed me from.

None of us would ever ask God for suffering. But when it comes—and it will—I wish more of us knew how to live with it, learn from it, and grow through it. Even when life is dark and heavy, we still have a choice. We can look for beauty. It’s hardest to see when everything feels dark, but that is precisely when beauty matters most. That is when our faith is being tested. That is when peace in suffering becomes a holy strength.

I am learning, slowly and imperfectly, to grow with my suffering. To lean on God in the everyday, not just in the emergencies. To ask Him for strength, endurance, and peace of mind. And He has been faithful.

If we never ask, we will never know what it means to be strong through our suffering, not just beyond it.

May God bless you, your family, and your life.

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The text in this article is copyright © 2025 Jessica Redmerski.

Music Credits:

“A Familiar Smile” by Sunfish Grove via Epidemic Sound

“A Love That Once Was” by Gavin Luke via Epidemic Sound

“Cain” by Lo Mimieux via Epidemic Sound