Love Beats Hate

in life, in business, and in politics: love beats hate.

the person or product who generates the most love wins — even if more people also hate that person or product.

in every presidential election ever (except one), love beats hate … kinda like rock beats scissors.

yes, it’s important for people to hate the other candidate. going negative works. but it’s WAY more important for people to love you.

in every presidential election (except one), the candidate loved the most won — even if that candidate was also hated the most.

obviously, you want your candidate to be loved and not hated (that’s a landslide). but you really only need to be loved by the most people to win.

the exception? 2020. no one loved Biden (no one even pretended to). but 2020 was a truly weird COVID election — the kind of once-in-a-century fluke that proves the rule.

political consultants won’t tell you this. because political consultants can’t generate love. they can’t even fake charisma. they can only make attack ads. they’re basically hate farmers.

and to be fair — they’re great at it. negative ads work. but love still trumps hate.

Let’s look at the data

if your candidate doesn’t inspire love, you’re toast.

Harris, Romney, Hillary, Kerry, Dole, Dukakis — these are “respectable dinner guest” candidates. and voters don’t marry “respectable dinner guests.”

one big takeaway: parties might be better off running polarizing weirdos who actually generate enthusiasm.

Howard Dean > John Kerry (2004).

Bernie Sanders > Hillary Clinton (2016).

and Bob Dole in 1996? come on. did anyone have a Bob Dole poster on their dorm wall?

last week’s NYC mayoral election was the case study.

more people loved Zohran Mamdani than anyone else — and more people hated him too.

Andrew Cuomo? zero love. his only strategy was, “vote for me because you hate the other guy.”

and that’s not enough. hate doesn’t get you over the top — love does.

the best company cultures are the ones most people would hate.

they’re too intense, too weird, too something — but that’s the point.

they attract the few who absolutely vibe with it.

the U.S. military gets this. so do hedge funds, startups, political campaigns.

they’re built for a tribe, not a committee.

I’d love to see a startup where everyone wears suits, uses Windows laptops, bans Slack, and has on-site shoe-shining. 95% of engineers would quit instantly. i would personally never work there. but the 1% who stay? they’d die for that company.

companies go sideways when they try to peanut-butter their culture — a little bit of everything, no strong flavor.

that’s how you end up with a culture that’s “fine” … which is corporate for “dead inside.”

even when you grow, you’ve got to stay weird.

and if you lose your edge, pull a Coinbase — correct course fast. it can work. Brian Armstrong proved it. the alternative: end up in the cultural trash bin.

• in dating: you only need to appeal to one person.

• in podcasts: you only need a core of obsessed fans.

• in apps: you’d rather have 100 people who use it daily than 10,000 who forget they downloaded it.

once you get the framing, it’s simple:

stop chasing approval. start chasing love.

and don’t worry about the haters — they’re just free marketing.

past piece you might like:

ultimate employee: the one that is truly proactive

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April 20, 2025

ultimate employee: the one that is truly proactive
only 1% of employees are truly proactive.
but these are the very best people.
if you are wondering if you are really proactive, here is a simple test...

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