Let’s get into this guy’s descent into addiction, shall we?
This originally was posted on Reddit seventeen years ago, but I heard it on a Southern Cannibal video. I will put up links to both, if you want to read it for yourself without my commentary, or you want to hear it narrated. Southern Cannibal has a great voice for scary stories, so that would be my recommendation. Also, for those of you that think that this is just a creation for the internet, the original poster provided photographic evidence to go along with his post.
Also, also, it is worth noting that Southern Cannibal did the work to grab all the relevant comments from after the initial posts to continue the story without having to hop around the comments to find them all. It will be that transcript this will be reacting to, because I am not wading through all that Reddit noise in order to do so. Southern already did it, so I thank him, and also piggyback on his work.
I will note Southern’s narration by name.
Also, it should be noted, he has been clean for several years now according to him.
Reddit Post:
Southern Cannibal’s narration cued to the timestamp:
The Dark World Of Reddit Confessions
I will be putting in commentary as we go. Like I said, if you want to read it, or listen to it yourself without that first, do so at the links. This is a long post with several updates, and won’t be covered in one article. It was a half hour narration, so that, along with my reactions, will make it even longer. I have no idea how many posts it will stretch. It might be two, it might be more. We shall see. Also, I did correct certain spelling errors from the original writing. I have only so much tolerance for the red underlining on my posts. It’s distracting.
(this is a little long) I have never been a drug user, I drink once in a while and smoked pot years ago back when I was a teen in high school a few times and that’s it. I’m 24 now, have a masters and a well paying full time job.
This guy is already starting off in a bad spot. He had a good setup, a nice job, and a good horizon in front of him. Look, if you want to try heroin, wait until you are nearing the end of your life and have little to lose. You would have already lived your best years, and at that point, if you really really need to try it, then you have less to destroy if you decide to do so.
Yesterday I was walking through Washington Square Park where I pass every day and there are always people there looking to sell drugs (not in the park anymore due to cameras, but it is well known you can meet a dealer than and do the transaction elsewhere these days). They usually don’t solicit drugs to you unless you stop to stand around near one of them for some reason or look like you’re looking for something.
Yesterday I happened to stop by a row of benches to check some messages on my phone when a dealer on the bench to my right asks me if I need anything. My life has been pretty boring the last few years and I feel like I haven’t really lived, taken any risks, or done anything crazy so I figured what the hell maybe I’ll buy some pot, it’s been a while.
I said yeah and after asking me several times if I’m a cop he gives me his number and tells me to meet him at a fast food place several blocks away and he will ‘hook me up.’ I say alright and nervously check to make sure I have cash and go meet this shady looking dude. We sit down and after hounding me asking if I’m a cop he asks what I need, I tell him I just want a dime bag and he says something like “Naw sorry man, I only sell half ounces, you can take that and I’ve got some coke and H.”
Walk away dude. Walk away. You wanted pot, not coke, not heroin. You aren’t taking a step down that slope, you are preparing a butter greased sled for a ride to the bottom.
At this point I didn’t want to buy half an ounce of pot, I probably never smoked more than an eighth in my life but then I started considering his last word, Heroin. I’ve heard so much about it and how crazy addictive it is and seen it in the movies and TV (I’m thinking The Wire here, one of my favorite shows) and it really started to intrigue me. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to do Heroin. Out of no where I say I’ll take the H and we do the deal there. I give him the cash under the table and he slides me a small order of fries with a little stamped wax baggie in it then he tells me to let him leave first.
I’m sorry, can you hand hold me through this argument please? You don’t want that much pot… so why not just try heroin? Am I reading that correctly? What? Tell me what flavor the windows were on your bus when you were a kid. Seriously dude.
I put it in my pocket then nervously race home my heart racing cannot believing what I just did. I held onto that bag in my pocket palms sweating the whole ride home. When I get home I open the bag and dump some golden flakes and powder on my glass coffee table. At this point I don’t even know what to do, I know you can snort heroin but it looked all flaky so I try to remember how they did it in the movies but they always seem to inject it in film so I start googling “how to snort Heroin’ like an idiot and do a little research on the stuff and how much to take.
At no point did you think to yourself, if I have no idea what I am doing, then maybe I shouldn’t be doing it? Not once? Really?
I used a card to get it into a fine powder and move a small ‘bump’ to the side which I inhaled through a dollar bill. I didn’t feel anything yet so I snorted a small line which was essentially half the bag (there was very little inside).
All right, I haven’t done hard drugs before, however, I assume that they aren’t selling like a non-useful amount to anyone, right? Meaning that they generally sell to addicts who are seeking enough product to get high. Which means, the amount, however much there was there, in that baggie, should have been enough for a person used to the drug to sufficiently get some kind of response out of. Maybe not euphoria, or anything like that, but enough to get back to baseline I would guess. It didn’t occur to this dude that he should be extremely cautious about the amount he is going to take?
I waited and in a few minutes I had the most pleasurable feeling of pure relaxation and bliss wash over me. I just sat there and everything felt amazing. I nodded off and it was great, I had the TV on but wasn’t paying attention, I must have sat around for 4 hours doing nothing but feel total pleasure. It was like a full body orgasm times 10 that kept going on and on.
Maybe it is because he snorted it, I don’t know, but I thought that heroin hit you with a hard wave of nausea first, then the high kicks in. Maybe this isn’t the case, or maybe it is because of how he used it. No idea.
When I would nod off it felt like I was in a pure conscious lucid dream like state, sometimes it felt like I was leaving my body. At this point I did the rest of it and stayed up all night and must have been high for 10 hours straight. I might have slept at one point, it’s hard to tell the difference when you nod off and everything feels good regardless, just the feeling of being under a blanket was amazing.
I was blown away by the power of this drug and just how orgasmic it felt. I never understood why people did drugs before and got so hooked on them but now I see why. I have the urge to do it again but I will resist and not do it, at least not for a long time. I understand the addiction potential and how someone could easily tear apart their lives with this stuff.
How does this description appeal to anyone? It sounds to me like he is disconnected from reality, doesn’t know what is going on around him, is totally out of it, has lost ten hours, and only can say that it feels amazing, but not why. Saying, it feels orgasmic, says nothing. Do you know what feels orgasmic? An orgasm. Go masturbate and get on with your day.
I don’t buy that an ongoing orgasm is remotely pleasurable. Actually, I know that it isn’t. If you have never heard of it, there is a condition called Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder, or PGAD, that essentially is exactly that, and the people with it (it’s pretty rare) hate it, so I am not buying the whole, it’s a ten hour orgasm.
Describe it better.
Heroin is pure powdered pleasure, I actually feel proud of myself for having the balls to do something this crazy and I feel like it was a valuable life experience and my window into another world and part of society. I will never forget the day I did heroin. Now, ask me anything.
Okay, why are you stupid?
This is not something to be proud of. You should be proud of accomplishments, things you do and have striven for. You went to a seedy bench, talked to a seedy guy, got an unknown substance in a bag that the guy told you was heroin but could have been cremation ashes for all you knew, and shoved them straight up your nose and into your brain. This is not an occasion to trot out the word, “proud”. More like, brain doner.
Also, the cope here. It was a valuable life experience? It gave you a window into another part of society? I mean, so could serial killing. Are you going to go out and murder a random stranger because you want insight into another world, and get “life experience”?
Weak, BS excuse.
Southern Cannibal:
After making the post, many Redditors obviously showed concern while others even applauded them for trying something new and being alive to tell the story, while others heavily related to the blissful experience.
One Redditor chimed in: “Yes, opioid molecules are the best on Earth. It really is the greatest feeling life has to offer. Unfortunately, once I got a taste for that feeling, it was all over. Opioids are the most addictive drugs on the planet. Once your body gets addicted, the withdrawal is pure hell. Be very, very careful not to ingest the stuff every day because in a matter of a week, you will be completely addicted.”
He gets this warning, and he’s like, “Nope, not me. I’m different!”
You’re not though. You’re really not.
Another Redditor stated: “Not a question, just a suggestion based on knowledge gained from years as a heroin addict. Don’t do it again, ever. There is nothing so terrible in this world as heroin withdrawals. It takes doing heroin every day or every other day for about 2 to 3 months to get your first habit, but that time goes by real fast when you are high. Just leave it alone. Seriously.”
Is he going to listen? No, no he is not…
Southern Cannibal:
At the end of the day, the general consensus was the same: this was a horrible and life-ruining decision and not something anyone should ever try to experience. But unfortunately, it was too late for Spontaneous H. The damage was done.
It wasn’t too late. He could have decided to listen, he chose to ignore the advice. Why? Because he’s the special exception to the rule.
Southern Cannibal
Spontaneous H didn’t take too kindly to some of the comments on their post…
Of course he didn’t. He wants people to tell him he’s brave and awesome for taking heroin.
Southern Cannibal:
…and followed up with an update:
Spontaneous H:
“Please, no more comments telling me I’m going to be a homeless addict dying of an overdose. Now, don’t lecture me with all your misconceptions and lack of any real knowledge or experience about the drug. I understand if you know someone who has been hurt by it. We all do. Any drug can ruin lives. Please ask me questions instead of trying to lecture me and do some research first before spewing lies.”
Sounds to me like someone sees what is likely his future and is in denial. What research would he like people to do about using heroin, I wonder?
Update two: “I don’t regret this at all and I see a lot of talk about how cocaine isn’t as bad as heroin and people telling anyone considering trying a hard drug to do coke instead. I’ve known and seen a lot of heavy coke users, many who have become addicted and ODed. And I find it disturbing that people think coke is acceptable because some higher class circles find it socially acceptable. I’m thanking the young Wall Street and college crowds here who associate it with money and being cool and is easily manageable to use for recreation. While society tells them that heroin is for the poor and the destitute and leads to automatic addiction and suffering. So, I plan to try cocaine the next chance I get and compare the two in terms of effects and experience.
Unfortunately, I cannot tell what the timeframe is between these two updates. However, it becomes rather obvious, very quickly, how defensive Spontaneous H becomes regarding his life choices. Also, Spon H, I don’t think the “coke is for the upper class” idea has been around for a minute now. Sure, in the eighties, but now? It isn’t exactly limited to any particular social circle.
Doing heroin was memorable and life-changing, and I know I can handle anything once. I’ve done my research on coke and know the risks. So, if anyone has any questions or opinions on that matter, feel free to chime in. Whether it is to tell me I’m a fucking idiot or to give me advice, whatever. This is an experiment and an adventure in life. I’ll report back once I try it.”
I love how he wants people to “chime in”, but the moment that they do with anything remotely negative about his life choices, he shoots them down with derision. Why even pretend that you are open to hearing their perspective, and perhaps consider why they might be giving you their own negative experiences.
There is an old adage. Life is too short to make all the mistakes there are to be made in the world, so instead of trying to make them all yourself, learn from some of mine.
This dude is like, that’s not happening! I’m going to do what I want. What do you recovering addicts know anyway? You ruined your lives, not heroin. Poor heroin, you all are so mean to it. Look, it’s sobbing in the corner because you’re so mean.
Dude… it has the rep for a reason.
After this, he tries to differentiate between heroin and meth, like they aren’t equal opportunity life destroyers:
OP•17y ago
I expected it, people have the preconceived notions and we are brought it to believe that Heroin is a big bad evil monster.
methamphetamine is something that disgusts me and I would be cautious about touching, but I will still try it (I wouldn’t smoke it, just snort) to see what the fuss is about that is taking over parts of America. I have taken Adderall before and plenty of it to study and once took a lot (120mg) to see what it would be like to be on speed (forgot to include that in the title as other drugs I’ve done, but it was prescribed). I would be curious to know how the methylated amphetamine form feels in comparison, and that is something I would only try once.
It disgusts him, but he would still try it. I don’t think our friend knows what the word “disgust” means. It means that it would make you turn away from it because you are repelled from it. Granted, I could make the argument that I am speaking about revulsion, and perhaps disgust can be overcome with… I don’t know, weird justification to try something that “disgusts” you? I find the notion of balut rather disgusting, and my form of disgust is not emotional. Mine is, no, I would rather not.” While his
Southern Cannibal:
Spontaneous H returned with an update two weeks later. This is where things begin to take a very disturbing turn. What was supposed to just be a thrilling first-time experience they lived through to talk about with strangers on the internet had now culminated into a deep, dark spiral that they couldn’t escape from.
The second post was titled, “Two weeks ago, I tried heroin once for fun and made an AMA. I have been using since and shot up for the first time today. Ask me anything.” It was posted on Sunday, September 27th, 2009 at nearly 2:00 a.m.
Two weeks, and everything is gone. Maybe, just maybe, you should have listened to the people telling you not to do the heroin to begin with? This is what kills me about addiction. I cannot understand why he is negotiating so hard for something that is well known to be a terrible idea. It’s not like he came to Reddit to ask about heroin because there is just no information about it out there. Literally all the people that have two brain cells holding hands can tell you, yeah, not a great plan. He, of course, knew better, and now is going to drag himself back here, tail between his legs going, “WHAT HAVE I DONE??!!!!”
Heroin dumbass. Heroin.
We will walk through his regret, and what he learned, next week.
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