This balancing beam . . .

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i loathed it then
i dislike it now
was physical
now spiritual
days i stick, complete, and stay on
then days of slips, stumbles, and falling hard
Lord Jesus, i don’t know
how to balance this
i was consistent
so i thought
but now i'm in mid air, with heart completely bare
needing to land
Your my Coach
but i don’t see you, feel you, do i even know you
i get scared i perform
not for you, but them
but you have given me this talent
so i should not bury and relent
correct?
slips of self worth
self destruction
self critic
stumbles of pride
of comparing
of kind jealousy
falls from fatigue
from empty
from carrying
this routine, i don’t like it
can i have a new one
one where slips, stumbles, and falling
are expected, not detested
Coach Jesus, i am sorry
please, lets start again
i have been in this training long enough
that you have to be in this rough
if not, this whole life would be in vain
just like 1 Corinthians 15:14 proclaims
if that was the case, i would deteriorate
but i will not deflate
i will stand upright
lets hop on again,
for you are in me, the routine, and this balancing beam
And when I slip, stumble, and fall
Your grace will catch me and allow me to still stand tall
Scripture Inspiration: Matthew 25:14-30, Proverbs 24:16, and 1 Corinthians 15:14