I wrote a version of this poem a month ago, as I was processing my up and coming birthday. I released it to Substack’s feed, but never via email. I felt it was fitting to re-release this poem today to you all. If you read this poem this past July, I changed it up just a bit and added a cool journal idea on the bottom!
If anyone else feels a little shaky, a little hesitant, a little scared, to get older, you are not alone. Maybe this poem will give you a little validation and reassurance that it is okay, that we age.
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lying in reminiscing thought
i arise, to sit in shade of Sun
about to pour to Him the gray of heart
but before i can, i see five bambi winks
i brisk to capture
they dance and prance
i breathe, i’m seen, by seeing thee
i return and pour pumpkin spice in the midst of heat
i say, "Let’s write," with music beats of adolescence
the safe secular melody validates the years
keys that played in high school, as i deep dived
strings that strung in speakers, of college drives
the notes captured cries on cries
now the water is held in the eyes
a month shy of 42 defeats
the age I feel
the age I grieve
the age I am learning to set free
acting normal was and is obscure
i was young with an old soul
older now with a filly spirit
feelings of unfamiliar
trying to sort out this dance
i switch the notes to He and continue to drink
i am still
a child
a teen
a twenty
a thirty
and always will be
i have days i am weaning
days i am clinging
and that’s okay
i’m strong and sensitive
i’m mature and messy
i'm stable and silly
i’m smart and still learning
i attempt, thick skin and tender heart
sometimes i succeed, and other times fall
but i arise, i drink, i pour
Jesus, you were with me in the last 42
and will be with me in the next
what will i say when i am eighty-six
if truth remains, its okay
baby bambi’s dance and prance
and so do we
we smile at thee
how could He not smile at you and me
Scripture Reference: Psalm 131:2 
About four years ago I started a birthday journal! Every year (if I do not forget) I grab this journal and I share to the Lord various things on my heart, reflections from the year, and/or anything I feel the Lord is wanting to speak to me. I usually journal a day before my birthday, the day itself, and sometimes even a few days after. I think it will be so cool in the years to come to look at these various entries. Maybe you want to start a birthday journal too!
Birthdays can be up and down and all around. Don’t you think?! I would love to know how this poem spoke to you. Or, even how you feel about birthdays. Feel free to comment. Blessings beautiful ones 🖤
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