42 - Version 1

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lying in reminiscing thought, i arise
i sit in shade of Sun
about to pour to Him the gray of heart
but before i can, i see five bambi winks
i brisk to capture
they dance and prance
i breathe, i’m seen, by seeing thee
i return and pour pumpkin spice in the midst of heat
i say, "Let’s write," with beats of adolescence
the safe secular melody validates the years
keys that played in high school, as i deep dived
strings that strung in speakers, of college drives
the notes captured cries on cries
now the water is held in the eyes
a month shy of 42 defeats
          the age I feel
          the age I grieve
          the age I am learning to set free
acting normal was and is obscure
i was young with an old soul
older now with a filly spirit
feelings of unfamiliar
trying to sort out this dance
i switch the notes and continue to drink
i am still
	a child
	a teen
	a twenty
	a thirty
and always will be
i have days i am weaning
days i am clinging
and that’s okay
i’m strong and sensitive
i’m mature and messy
i'm stable and silly
i’m smart and still learning
i attempt, thick skin and tender heart
sometimes i succeed, and other times fall
but i arise, i pour
Jesus, you were with me in the last 42
and will be with me in the next
what will i say when i am eighty-six
if truth remains, its okay
baby bambi’s dance and prance
and so do i
i smile at thee
how could You not smile at me
Scripture Reference: Psalm 131:2