Big changes ahead

Photo credit: Engjell Gjepali on Unsplash

This week, hubby and I spent a few full, joyous days in Tuscany with close relatives, taking care of some family business. Our time and energy was directed to things that are needed when you have tenants in old property, not to mention resolving differences of opinion and tensions that arise in many families where money and ownership are involved.

The busyness was joyfully interspersed with some hours of walking, talking, discovering, connecting with place and people, eating and drinking. We are going to move into some of the property, not least to ensure it is loved and well-maintained but also out of necessity. Inheritance is a blessing that comes with considerable responsibility.

We had an unexpected experience in these days. The move has been on the horizon for some time now but suddenly, the horizon appears much closer and more immediate than before. Perhaps that was true for me as I had not been to the property for some time because I had other priorities. Or maybe timelines are speeding up and my renewed involvement is catalysing that process.

From experience, there is a definite quickening of events when we can imagine ourselves living them. Many scientists, mystics, artists and others have experimented with and documented the fact that a generating-organising-destroying force creates all matter and causes it to decay, and that all matter in its smallest form is energy - this is at the heart of quantum mechanics. Physicist Niels Bohr’s famous Copenhagen Interpretation showed us how an observer can affect the behaviour of particles. Wolfgang Pauli, an Austrian-Swiss physicist won the Nobel Prize in 1945 for his work on spin theory. He was also notorious for causing laboratory to break down, chairs to collapse and train cars to decouple in his presence. The phenomena became known as the ‘Pauli effect’. Pauli went on to explore the nature of synchronicity with psychologist Carl Jung. Other physicists, psychologists, practitioners of yoga and meditation, artists, writers…since then have also shared their learnings with the world, despite widespread derision and rejection from the wider scientific community.

I have practised yoga and meditation fairly consistently for more than 30 years. In the periods where I have done that more intensively, for example a year spent in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery in the Scottish borders and a week of vision questing at Joshua Tree in the Mojave desert in California, I can attest to astonishing clarity and synchronicities that I would never have believed in had I not experienced them directly for myself. I love American psychologist Eleanor Rosch’s 2001 paper ‘If You Depict A Bird, Give It Space To Fly’ where she explores human embodied cognition as something that arises from a shared field - we are all part of nature, humanity as a whole and something beyond both. Eleanor describes how our cognitive sciences analyse the human mind and body in particular ways that have led to theories and experiments which depend on that view. She then points out that the meditative and contemplative traditions of the world have brought forth a very different set of intuitions and insights, with systems to talk about them and methods for teaching people how to know and live them. Between these two worldviews, in Eleanor’s view, are the arts.

I’m also a sculptor, writer and one-time (talented young) musician. An intention for this year and beyond is to play music regularly again. Through my sculpting, I have discovered amazing things - the impact of heat and force, the power of patience, the value of practice, the awe of beauty, the humility of moving others. While working on a piece of a very famous individual some years ago, I intuited that the piece’s natural home was in this person’s private space. I discovered through a fortuitous meeting with him some years later that it is indeed in that space because he loves it. I was gobsmacked, to put it mildly. And humbled and grateful beyond words.

Photo credit: Christina Winter on Unsplash

Moving to a rural home, in a different part of the country with a noticeably different culture to where we have lived for 20 years, when we don’t know anyone beyond the tenants and people working on the family property, is a big change for us. Hubby has always lived in an apartment in a city and worked in successful start-ups that became flourishing multinationals in time. I’m a free-spirited nomad who likes to roam and create at will, though I have lived, and loved living, in the countryside, also with animals. We have land to take care of, buildings to maintain, and I’m setting up a new business. The last years have brought much loss and all that goes with it. A new chapter of life is opening up, and it feels both exciting and daunting in equal measure. Through experience - and a modicum of wisdom - we are aware that to fully embrace this change and everything that will inevitably arise as a result, we may need to show up quite differently from how we are used to.

We can already see how pausing and taking stock is giving space for tensions to cool down and resolve themselves, instead of instinctively reacting to things that are not working and driving them where we want them to go. Personally I am slowly but surely growing into being part of a community - family and other - where gifts travel in circles. That means giving up some of my autonomy and control, as I start to put down some roots and quieten my lifelong wandering. I’m quite surprised at myself at the ripe old age of 55, when these elements have always been essential to my health and happiness, sometimes to the detriment of others’. Hubby has a very different character and life experience and is ten years older. He is learning to relax and trust that there are helping hands to get things done, so that he can go much more with the flow. Who knew…

Connecting with one another, especially when we don’t see eye to eye, the land and places that will become ‘ours’… have shown themselves key to us this last week. Often that means being willing to question our own views and ways of doing things, since there are many and the situations we find ourselves in are complex. They can at times feel overwhelming and beyond our capability to address. Above all, they never seem to reach a state of equilibrium or rest, when there isn’t something major to sort out. Or perhaps that is a process we are still in the early stages of.

In short, we are being invited to navigate polarity and paradox yet again, another dynamic which shows no sign of abating. As essential leadership competencies for the world today, we are constantly reminded that leadership is not something that is held in formal positions of responsibility. Instead anyone can ‘lead’ in many situations, ‘leadership’ is distributed and collective. Hierarchy can help to make decisions but it is quite possible, and often much more effective, to organise and interact in circles or synarchies. Tasks can easily play to people’s strengths and the more tedious ones reduced to a minimum and shared among all involved. Dialogue is not that difficult when we bring openness, curiosity and humility to the table. Shared meaning, purpose and next steps arise naturally, strategy becomes almost redundant. Problems begin when we compete, try to take or centralise power and authority, scale what has worked in certain situations so that we can grow revenue, reduce costs to the minimum to increase profit. Collaboration - and indeed love - are our natural state when we are not behaving like machines that need to run as efficiently as possible. Money is not the issue. Our worldviews, and who we share of ourselves, are.

Photo credit: Asha Singh 2024

Big changes ask us to adapt, using our tech to support that transformation, not just give us competitive advantage. I offer guided reflection-in-action to individuals, groups and teams to:

• Pause and create a breathing-space where you can become more stable

• Connect with what you really feel, with others and the spaces around you

• Expand your own thinking and how you see your challenges

• Remember what is really important to you

• Walk the path ahead as it reveals itself

Transformation, particularly of our worldviews and who we believe we are, comes about through sustained practice.

You will also be able to explore some essential foundations for becoming more stable at your own pace in an online adventure very soon!

Please DM me for details or book a call to find out more.

Thanks for reading!