The Real Work of Being Real

Authenticity—a tricky word and even trickier to practice or embody. Here are my thoughts on it. I have been working on my own authenticity and showing up as the ‘real me.’ In this process, I have spent countless hours thinking about this word, introspecting, observing myself in my life, and testing out concepts and ideas. I have understood enough that I feel I can share with others now. So, buckle up :).

First, here’s the Oxford definition, because, well…why not? :).

Authenticity is the quality of being true or real, or what someone claims to be. It can also mean being genuine, not a copy, or conforming to an original to reproduce essential features. In a personal context, it refers to being true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.

As a psychiatrist, my interest is in the definition of authenticity as it applies to human psychology and behavior.

So, let’s break it down. To be authentic is to be genuine, real, and aligned with our core values, ideas, and beliefs—where what’s inside matches what’s outside. However, this must be practiced with compassion and love. Without those, people may be honest or speak their minds yet still be brutal or hurtful. The issue is that our “honest” or “truthful” appraisals are always limited by our own perspective, awareness, and consciousness. That’s why I believe authenticity requires compassion and love in our interactions with others.

How do we practice authenticity in everyday life?

Step One: Self-awareness.

We must know and understand who we are. This requires going inward—introspecting, reading, writing, journaling, meditating. To observe ourselves when we are alone and when we are with others. Noticing our body’s feelings, reactions, and our mind’s thoughts, intuitions, and comments. Almost like watching ourselves through a camera we operate. This is becoming the participant-observer of our own life as it unfolds.

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