There are no rules.
At least, that’s what I’ve discovered after 42 years on this beautiful planet.
For a long time, I thought there was a right way to do things.
A right way to build a career.
A right way to build a business.
A right way to be creative.
A right way to find success.
A right way to live.
I used to message my friends asking what they were doing on the weekend, not just because I cared (I do), but because I was curious about how people spent their time.
I was secretly trying to figure out how everyone else was living their lives — and whether they knew something I didn't.
(Seriously, how do you choose?*😂)
The older I get, the more I realise that most of the rules we’re following were invented by someone else.
And often by someone whose life looks nothing like ours.
If my twenties were about exploration, trial and error, finding love, travelling, getting my degree, discovering who I was and who I wanted to become...
And if my thirties were about building foundations — creating a home, developing skills, deepening friendships, exploring motherhood, growing a business and shaping a life...
Then my forties have become something entirely different.
My forties are my “fuck it” era.
Not in a reckless way. (I am not a reckless person… in fact, I care too much).
In a deeply intentional way.
A coming-home-to-myself way.
A letting-go-of-anything-that-no-longer-fits way.
A learning-to-trust-myself way.
A “need a solo Autumn retreat / mid-week getaway / finally-drinking-that-sparkling-wine-I’ve'-been-saving-even-though-it’s-just-for-me” kinda way.
Over the last decade, my life has changed radically.
I’ve moved cities.
I’ve moved states.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve fallen in love again.
I’ve gotten married.
I’ve spent years trying to become a mother.
I’ve navigated heartbreaking IVF journeys and multiple surgeries.
I’ve built a business around the things I genuinely love doing with people I genuinely enjoy working alongside.
Slowly, piece by piece, I’ve designed a whole life that feels like mine.
And what I’ve discovered through all of it is this:
There is no single right way.
There is only your way.
The more I lean into who I actually am — my strengths, my quirks, my rituals, my creativity, my intuition, my values — the more opportunities seem to appear.
Not because I’m trying harder.
Because I’m resisting less.
Amazing, huh?
The moments that have felt most fulfilling in my life have never been the moments that looked impressive from the outside. They’ve been the moments where I felt truly alive. Truly seen. Truly valued. Truly appreciated.
Not for what I could produce.
Not for what I could achieve.
But for who I am.
And that’s why I worry a little when I see artists and creatives endlessly searching for answers outside themselves.
(Yes, I’ve been there.)
I’ve bought the courses.
I’ve followed the experts.
I’ve consumed the content.
I’ve looked for the blueprint.
And while there’s nothing wrong with learning from others, there comes a point where consuming more advice simply creates more noise.
Sometimes the next answer isn’t in another course.
Sometimes it’s in a quiet walk.
A notebook.
A heartfelt conversation.
A moment of honesty.
I’m convinced it’s already inside you, waiting for you to notice.
The people you follow online don’t have your answers.
Even if they seem like they have everything figured out.
And if they have found something that works beautifully, that’s wonderful. It works for them.
The question is:
What’s true for you?
What lights you up?
What energises you?
What makes you feel expansive?
What feels authentic?
What makes you magnetic?
What makes you feel deeply, unmistakably alive?
Only you can answer that.
And maybe that’s the whole point.
Sometimes we ask other people questions because we’re hoping they’ll save us from making a decision.
But the power lies in making that decision yourself — and owning it.
To trust yourself.
To change your mind.
To take the scenic route.
To ignore advice that doesn’t fit.
To create a business that looks different.
To create a life that looks different.
To follow your curiosity.
To honour what feels true.
To stop asking for permission.
And to remember that you never needed it in the first place.
Love,
Kylie
*manifesting generator here.
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