Around 2020 I discovered a life coach who I resonated with more strongly than anyone I could remember in recent years. Her values echoed mine, her inner strength and determination was inspiring. Our shared love of plants was the icing on top.
Her name is Kemi Nekvapil, and I would eagerly await December where she offered a free online coaching end-of-year reflection exercise (the intimacy and generosity of such a large group of women providing answers in real time to the questions was both heart-wrenching and heartwarming).
I have devoured all of Kemi’s books - I highly recommend you do too. But there is one book that really changed me - The Gift of Asking.
As a strong, independent (first born), fiery Sagittarius woman, it broke down so many internal negative beliefs and barriers I had around doing everything myself and everything needing to be ‘hard’.
I learnt to ask for help.
I learnt how to ask for the things that would improve my life and to make life work for me, with ease and grace. Here are the some of the things I’ve asked for in 2025, that have been gratefully received.
I followed up not once, not twice, but three times — still got no answer. But the email I sent on the fourth time? It got the project. The BIG one. The multi five figure project I had my heart set on. Concept design is complete and I will be delivering it next year.
I had recently completed my Brisbane City Council mural for the Suburban Business Hub in Nundah, then serendipitously came across a marketing lady who was starting a new role at Loving Nundah. YOU BET I asked if I could feature my mural in the next magazine (it was just recently released).
I asked my husband if I could travel to Bali solo on holidays. Now if you know my husband, you’d know I really didn’t need to ask as he is my biggest cheerleader and the most supportive, wonderful man in the entire world. Asking him was really about giving myself permission, as I knew he would urge me to go and help me realise it was okay to gift this to myself (time, money, energy, beauty).
I asked for space. When I was struggling with the PTSD from my infertility journey, I asked my best friends (and some people who were trying to access me too regularly) to allow me space and time to grieve.
I asked for company, and hugs. When I was feeling isolated, lonely and unseen from my infertility journey, I asked my best friends to be there for me.
I asked for the little things too, which add up on a daily basis to have big impacts — Can you carry this for me?
— Can you reach this for me?
— Can you cook this for me?
— Can you clean this for me?
— Can you return this for me?
“Can you please take my photo?”
I used to believe that asking was selfish, demanding or me being ‘difficult’.
I used to see it as a sign of failure.
I thought it was a negative reflection of my capability.
I realise now it couldn’t be further from the truth. If you feel this too, it’s time to change. Not asking is self-sacrificing. It is limiting. It is holding you back.
It’s actually a sign of deep self respect — to honour yourself enough to know that you deserve whatever it is you’re asking for. And even if you ask and the person you ask cannot give it, it doesn’t diminish your deservingness or your worth. It doesn’t diminish theirs either.
For me, I realised one of the most beautiful parts of this experience is this:
It is not just a gift to you to receive help, it is a joy for the giver to give it!
By not asking, you are removing the opportunity for someone to feel content and proud in assisting you. You are removing the opportunity for them to feel happy in helping. You are robbing them of the experience to feel seen and valued.
There are still things I need to work on with asking.
For example — I am TERRIBLE at asking for help in my business.
Partly because I am skilled at a lot of things and think I can do it best. Partly because I haven’t felt like I earnt enough pay someone for help me consistently. Both are untrue.
I’ve paid for coaching, communication and courses. But hiring someone to help me in my business ongoing? No way!
Until this last month.
This year has been a doozy for me and as my capacity became more and more limited, I realised I needed more help. I had no choice but to ask. A few weeks ago I spoke to a dear friend about it and we agreed we both needed help in our businesses.
That day I started thinking about what would help me the most. I narrowed it down to hiring a virtual assistant or a graphic designer/artist to work in my style. I reached out to a few graphic designers I knew to get their hourly rate and availability.
Serendipitously, the very next day I spotted a business post asking about virtual assistants. There were a few ladies who put their contact details in the comments and I was drawn to one of them in particular. I sent her a message and had a meeting with her last week.
I was so happy I could cry.
AND… the joy on my VA’s face at the opportunity to work with me and hearing how excited I was to find her — priceless.
Starting in January, I now have a team member :)
I want to ask you for something in return.
If I have inspired, motivated or helped you in some way (through my Artist Diaries posts, instagram DMs, 1:1 coaching or having access to read about my business in greater detail) — would you please take a minute to hit reply and write me a few kind words? I would love to hear what it was that you have appreciated most (or if you’re feeling brave to post publicly please leave it in the comments).
If you are looking for something that I haven’t offered but you really need in your creative business — especially if you can’t find it online or with another creative guide — please take a minute to hit reply and let me know.
If there is one thing I could gently encourage and promote for you to take action on in 2026 — to make your best year yet — it would be to ASK. Ask for what you want and need.
Ask and you shall may receive.
There’s no guarantee that asking will result in what you want.
But it’s sure worth finding out, isn’t it? ;)
I’m wishing you the most merry Christmas and some fresh, creative energy to launch into 2026.
All my love,
Kylie x
Journal Prompts:
When have I stopped myself in the past, for asking for help?
If I could ask for something small to make today better/easier, what would it be and who would I ask?
If I could ask for something of my family this Christmas, what would it be?
If I could ask something of myself to make my business grow in 2026, what would it be?
PS. I’ve just returned from my birthday getaway in the Snowy Mountains. It was so magical and I feel so grateful for another year of art and travel. Thanks for your patience between this post and the last.
I look forward to sharing my reflections from 2025 with you, as well as 10 years of Tiny Giraffe in January!
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