How to Find a Sweetheart (part 1)

Classification … PROSPERITY > #DATING, #HOWTO, #ROMANCE, #LOVE … (FULL SYSTEM) (REALITY SHIFT)
This copyrighted information was developed from 1968 through 1988 by Arthur Cronos, and was first written in 1995. We’re publishing the method here, as a public service. You may print one copy for your personal use; all other rights are reserved. There’s an ongoing human need to have romance in our lives. We hope you find it useful in your life. … If you find it useful, please do not violate US copyright law by giving printed or electronic copies to your friends; that would be both illegal and rude. … Instead, please share this highly effective method by sending your friends to get their own freely available copy. (You can obviously email the link to your friends by copying it from the browser’s URL link at page top.) Here’s to your superb romance!

The times we live in

We live in an age where advertising tells us that our lives will become bliss if we only use this soap, wear those shoes, and drink that soda. Hogwash.

The important things in life are few: Your health. Your career and dreams. Financial stability. And your love life.

This special report will describe a simple approach to helping your love life get to first base. This report will show you the step-by-step approach to getting a girlfriend (or a boyfriend). What may be even more important, this report will describe why our usual approach is often doomed to fail, and how to proceed in a way that will actually work for you.

Although I will describe a theory about why finding a girlfriend is such a problem, bear in mind that the theory is just to help you understand why the usual approach often fails. In the end, the theory doesn’t matter. The instructions given here are practical and KNOWN TO WORK. Hundreds of people have tried this approach, and they report that it works. This method works no matter whether you’re a man or a woman, straight or gay. all have tried it with success, too.

In the early part of my life, I was the World’s Worst Romeo.

I was as clumsy at Romance as anyone you’ve ever known. So how was I able to devise a simple, teachable method where wiser folks have failed? I don’t know.

Perhaps only that I was extremely determined, so I worked this out for myself. Later I mentioned it to friends, and it worked for them too. Since then, so many have tried it, and it seems to be very reliable. And now this same method can work for you.

Because it’s clumsy for me to always say get a girlfriend (or boyfriend), I’m going to mainly just say get a girlfriend. In your mind, feel free to substitute boyfriend or husband or wife or the love of your life!

This method can help you regardless of how you view your love-life, whether it is love and romance, the mating game, getting laid, finding your karmic soulmate, or getting married.

In my personal viewpoint, sex without commitment is a hollow experience; love is enduring and enriching; seduction is a trivial pursuit; romance is a spice that glorifies the day; and family gives life a deep meaning. However, you need not share my views. You could be more materialistic or more spiritual than me, and the information here will still apply. Because the report is written for any person who finds himself lonely and doesn’t want to stay that way.

I have no incredible information to present about how to deepen your relationships, how to progress into love, or how to get along with your girlfriend (or boyfriend) once you’ve got them. What I do have is an outstanding method for finding that special person, and this practical method for doing just that is what I’d like to share with you now.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

• Part 1: The Simple Secret of Success

• Part 2: Realizing What You Really Want

• Part 3: Where to Find Them

• Part 4: Handling the Encounter

• Part 5: Special Information

The simple secret of success

We’re going to examine WHY the usual approaches to getting a girlfriend usually fail. To do so, we’ll need to discuss some of the ways the mind works. You don’t really have to agree with the theory presented here; it’s just to help you understand why the usual approaches don’t work very well. When we get to the practical how-to part, the steps will work for you whether you agree with the theory or not.

How the human mind is constructed

This theory is a bit off-the-wall. It is based on two theories presented by Carl Sagan and Julien Jaynes. You don’t have to accept this theory for my method to help you get a girlfriend or boyfriend, but I think you’ll discover that the theory fits observable facts. But first, let’s back up a little bit.

When NASA sends a rocket into space, they outfit it with three computers, which do all calculations separately. This way, if one computer fails, its answer is different from the other two, and the scientists then simply believe the two that agree.

The human mind is constructed somewhat the same way, except that we have FOUR computers or brains. The first brain becomes obvious when you look at how creatures develop along the evolution line.

How simple creatures began

Amoebas and primitive creatures first begin to develop locomotion along the edges, and they begin to develop sensory devices on the forward-moving end. This helps them to survive, and the survivors leave progeny, and the modifications are carried down through time.

By the time evolution builds up to worms and insects, the creatures have developed a tube running front to back, which digests food and discards what it can’t use.

Insects add an outer shell

Insects become hard on the outside, and so they develop exterior skeletons. This helps them move around, supporting their bulk against gravity.

As legs and sensory organs develop further, so do nerves to connect them so they work together, and the main pathway of these nerves runs front to back along with the digestive tube.

Reptiles. Slippery fellows with the first brain

Next in evolution come reptiles. Reptiles develop a interior skeleton, with a spinal column of flexible bone running front to back along with the main nerve channel and the digestive tube. The hard plates on the outside become smaller and smaller, becoming scaly skin. These modifications permit them to grow larger than insects, supporting their bulk against gravity, much like a complicated tent with structural posts inside.

In the reptile, the first brain develops. We now have a complex nervous system, because survival behavior is now more complex. On the front end of the main nerve channel, near the sensory organs in the head, extra nerve tissue develops, like a knob on top of a stick. This is the reptile brain. It is hard-wired, meaning its program is built into the tissue, and its simple functions pass via DNA to the offspring in an egg (like a chicken), so the newborn reptile emerges from the egg already programmed. Baby snakes can track prey with their eyes the moment they get their heads free of the egg.

The reptile brain contains information about operating the body, plus new reptile information about dominance and submission. Dominance and submission programs aid survival by making the reptile fight to procreate and run away when they’re losing. Unlike insects who will just stay there while they are eaten, the reptile will escape to fight another day. This advanced program helps reptiles to survive better than insects do.

But remember, the reptile’s program is hard-wired, built into the tissue of the primitive reptile brain; the reptile’s program cannot be easily modified by learning.

New systems evolve very slowly, and very slowly take over

Now here’s a funny thing about how evolution works. As each new creature mutates (by accident) into something that survives better (and thus leaves more progeny to spread the mutation), the old system does not vanish! The old system remains in the body, continuing to operate, even though there’s a new and improved system also working. For example, your body has some “new” fast-signal nerve-cells, but the older, slower nerve-cells are still there, still working. (When you feel a sharp pain, that’s coming to you by the fast nerves. When you feel a dull ache, that’s from the old slow ones.)

Here come the warm-blooded mammals

Next in evolution we come to mammals. Here we have what was reptile but which has now mutated so that it can burn food inside the body and generate heat, and thus it can continue to move around when the weather turns cold. (A reptile’s speed goes down with the temperature, and at cold temperatures their nervous system transmits very slowly, so they move slowly or not at all.)

The mammal achieves this mutation by building more gray matter on top of the knob at the top of the spinal column nerve channel. This gray matter regulates internal chemical processes and thus regulates temperature. So the mammal can keep on moving swiftly, even when it’s chilly. And you can bet, on those cold nights, they reproduce more and leave more progeny to carry on the news, and they do their reproduction inside the body where it’s warm.

The mammal’s new and improved brain

This is the mammal brain, this new glob of gray matter, and it’s somewhat programmable. Why? Dunno. Perhaps successful heat regulation requires some learning, like don’t stick your hand in the (hot) fire and come in out of the (cold) rain. Maybe fire keep out! and rain come in! are just too complicated to develop as pre-wired programs.

Also, we can notice that mammals show activity that appears to be what we call emotion. Your dog can appear pleased, or worried, or angry. The lizard couldn’t do that.

So we notice that the mammal mind has to do with motion and e-motion; it has to do with all the warm and cold feelings. The words in our language reflect these mammal truths, because we mammals can’t help but perceive in this way.

How the mammal mind learns

A basic type of learning, called Pavlov’s conditioning (after Mr. Pavlov, who first researched it), operates on the mammal, emotional, feeling mind. This is an e-motional type of learning, where you learn by reward or punishment following an activity. It’s ouch! that teaches us caution with sharp objects, and it’s yum-yum! that teaches us to order dessert.

But remember: Beneath the mammal mind is still the reptile mind, so sex and war, dominance and submission tendencies are hard-wired into your dog, and into you. And conditioning is a learned behavior learned on top of the pre-existing reptile program.

Pavlovian conditioning can operate by accident, and so learning can happen which is baloney, but still very real to you. If Aunt Mable always pinched your cheeks so hard it hurt, and she wore her hair in a tight black bun, you will probably never be attracted to women named Mable nor that hair style.

Different mammals take different paths to survival

As mammals continued to mutate toward greater survival, achieved by more complex structure, we see an increased growth of gray matter on top of the basic mammal mind. A bird, surviving by flight, has to be mostly muscle and nervous system, and can’t spare much weight for more brain. That’s why birds are still close to reptiles; they have basic heat regulation and little else. And they aren’t as smart as your dog, who has learned complex pack behaviors which modify the dominance and submission program, and who has learned complex hunting behaviors, and who can even understand a few words of your language, especially the ones that make him happy (goforwalk?) or make him unhappy (baddog!)

Larger learning brains need more room

As larger and larger brains are built, at some point there’s a weight problem. Skulls up to the point of the primate are basically egg shaped. But if an egg-shaped primate skull were thick enough to protect the brain from smashing, the skull would be so thick and heavy that it would be hard to hold it up.

And so, in good architectural fashion, the skull grows a reinforcing ridge down into the middle of the up-growing brain, much like you put a center wall inside a house to help hold up the roof. The new gray matter inside a primate’s skull is divided into two separate globs, each sitting on top of the mammal brain, but talking to each other through two holes in the wall, two holes the size of small coins.

An unexpected dividend

Here comes the clever part. These two new brains are almost completely programmable, but evolution’s survival rates have determined that we program the two to compute differently. In other words, our ancestors who (by accident) developed the two brains to operate differently then survived better than others, and left more descendants. And we are those descendants.

Although the beliefs about left-brain/right-brain specialization continue to evolve, the original beliefs about left-brain/right-brain was that the left brain uses logic, is linear, allows us to string words together, and uses the right brain as a slave to process visual information from the right eye.

The right brain was believed to use pictures, is more global, allows us to picturize complete visions all at once, and uses the left brain as a slave to process visual information from the left eye.

In computer terms, the left brain is serial, processing one bit of information at a time, and the right brain is parallel, processing whole pictures at a time.

We can read experiments of people who have had brain injuries which severed the small connections between the two brains. It appears that the two brains operate simultaneously, each on its own, to come up with a conclusion. And they can come up with different answers!

A weird experiment

In one experiment, a brain-severed person named Tom was asked to reach behind a screen with his left hand and pick up the object hidden there, which was a hairbrush. He was then asked to name the object. Now here’s the catch: The left hand is connected into the right brain, so the right brain knew it was a hairbrush. But the left brain, which does all the talking in language, was completely guessing. Tom would say, A pencil? A bag? A hammer? And at every guess, the right brain, which knew the answer but can’t operate the vocal chords, would shake Tom’s head from side to side to say no.

This tendency of the two brains to come to different conclusions also operates in all of us. For example, in your left brain you know it’s a fact that Sylvia is a worthless tramp who will cause you grief; but when you see her across the room, your right brain thinks hubba hubba hubba!

Our super-duper, new and improved, four-brain system

So we actually have FOUR different brains, all calculating at the same time, but using different methods:

1. The reptile brain contains our hard-wired tendencies to sex and war, dominance and submission, and these are promoting our survival as well as a hard-wired system can do.

2. The mammal brain contains our Pavlovian accidents learned, and these are promoting our survival as well as automatic and sometimes accidentally learned avoidance and approach behaviors can do.

3. The left-side verbal brain processes logical statements, and it promotes our survival as well as logic acting on uncertain statements can do.

4. And the right-side visual brain processes picture information, and it promotes our survival as well as a picture-book story can do.

But here’s the problem

If all four brains come to the same conclusion, we can be pretty certain it’s safe to proceed.

But any one of the brains can calculate wrong, and there can be an internal disagreement, so that you don’t know what to do at all. Or maybe you think you know, but you’re trembling.

The fact that there are different brains using different methods is also why there are different methods of therapy, and sometimes one method works better than another, but not always. Different therapies tend to work on one brain or another. This is why intelligent behaviorists argue with intelligent psychoanalysts. They may both be correct, sometimes.

But now let’s leave the hazards of life to examine one specific error, which is common, and which is the main reason why even a smart person can wind up being lonely.

How your mind sometimes … fails

Because this is a written report using language, we’ll logically examine how the four brains come to create an error amongst themselves, and how the error can persist. We’ll look at it logically, but you will also need to IMAGINE and VISUALIZE how this works, because the error occurs BETWEEN the brains.

~~~

Here’s the catch: The problem of having no girlfriend (or boyfriend) tends to become a self-fulfilling, self-defeating prophecy or problem.

~~~

For example: First, you have certain negative feelings: perhaps you’re down because of a previous break-up, or perhaps you’re just feeling lonesome, or maybe maybe you’re feeling unattractive and unloved.

Next, these feelings (mammal brain) automatically trigger feelings, which predispose you to certain perceptions: you’ll be emotionally sensitive (pavlovian conditioning) to any picture suggesting rejection, further pain of loneliness, or the frustration of failing to solve the problem. And these types of pictures can then quickly arise in the visual brain.

And over in the verbal brain, you may be vocalizing your feelings, saying in your inner dialogue: Oh, what’s the use? I won’t meet anybody nice.

Now if this is the inner dialogue, and these are the inner pictures, and they’re both charged up by the newly triggered feelings, you will naturally take sensible actions to avoid these pains—which you are already feeling.

Your sensible actions in this case might be avoiding further pain or loneliness by withdrawing from the troublesome area, and by finding quick reasons why this person or that person should not be approached. And this is all automatic, in each of these brains because every one of these things is a learned habit, like turning on the light switch beside the front door when you come home at night.

And so, because you have certain feelings > you have certain perceptions > which lead you to take certain actions.

And they’re the wrong actions.

Dammit! They’re the WRONG actions!

Your learning from the past leads you astray

And after you’ve been led astray, and the situation was another failure, then you get more of the bad feelings, and the whole error stays in place.

But … there’s a way out of this

The answer is non-intuitive, and it’s easy to miss. But it doesn’t take superhuman discipline, and it doesn’t involve more and more pain.

We just have to look at it from a different angle, and we’ll use an unusual approach.

Because, in this report, we’re going to explain a simple system that quickly acts to get you out of this self-defeating cycle.

We’re going to go left-brain, verbal mind to explain how the system works. Later on, your right-brain, visual brain will see it working when you try it, in simple, small, repeating doses. Your Pavlovian, mammal-brain will then experience the pleasure of success. (And probably your reptile brain will urge you to have sex or start a fight.)

Coming up next: PART TWO of “How to Find a Sweetheart” …

This section, explaining how we become trapped in a self-sustaining problem, was the longest section, and I know you’re anxious to get to the good stuff, but please be patient. We’ll get there.

• In Part Two, we’ll first cover three simple mental principles that get in our way, and the secret key that unlocks these three barriers.

• Then I’ll show you how it can actually be rather easy to reprogram your vision in a way that SERVES you rather than blocking you. (And no, this isn’t some kind of woo-woo guru-chant thing you gotta do.)

• Because then we’ll cover the Five Simple Steps that—if you do them—all the internal blather and blocks and dither will just vanish, and we’ll do this by going out on dates, which will start to become a rather easy thing to do.

Not to worry if you’ve failed before. (When I finally stopped smoking, it was after 200+ failed attempts, and this is WAY easier than that, and faster, and a lot more fun!)

You’ll be going out, having some fun, and your mental barriers will be melting away.

Does it sound like magic?

Well, that’s because … it is.

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Now … Ready for Part Two? Yes?

CLICK HERE for Part Two

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The four classifications of articles —
Full System — complete, A-to-Z solution
Quick Method — fast, usable technique
Lifecraft Tool — practical everyday fix
Reality Shift — perspective that changes outcomes
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