My biggest fear is: facing myself.

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Hello words, why have I not been coming to you for dealing with my own emotions? I have been using you to make other people smile. 

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I have have been running away from facing myself. 

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I have been running away from my own shadow while selling hope to others. 

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I still have to face my biggest fear. 

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My biggest fear of facing myself. 

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Facing the dark parts of my self. So called dark parts. 

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The versions of me that made someone cry. 

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The versions of me that disappointed my family. 

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The versions of me that were ungrateful for all the love they had. 

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The versions of me that chased the mirage. 

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The versions of me that did not know any better. 

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The versions of me that needed to unlearn. 

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Unlearn the shame. 

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Unlearn the hate. 

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Unlearn the doubt. 

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Doubt at my ability. 

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Doubt at my ability to be brave. 

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Doubt at my courage.

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Doubt at my source of courage. 

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I borrow courage from the moon.

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      It runs out by the time it is noon. 

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What a mess I have made of my books?

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I need to read all of them twice to truly understand them. 

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Yo! I am still a proud no editor writer. 

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But my third poetry book, The Summer I Found My Wings, has had three - the best editors:

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Mahek Mehrotra of Just Mahek Things

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Theodora Sterling of Cups of Silver

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Ranveer Singh of  Khalis House

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Thank you my fellow poetry lovers. Your generosity has been helping me follow my dreams. 

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Pre Order The Summer I Found My Wings - https://arsheverest.com/products/the-summer-i-found-my-wings-pre-order

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Why? Coz, I will be sending signed copies and handmade bookmark with every pre order. PS I painted the cover image in watercolors as a landscape of mountains and red rising sun because they were my motivation while I was writing this book. 

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Also, this one has layers. You bitches - the ones who called “You’re on Your Own” basic. 

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https://arsheverest.com/products/youre-on-your-own-poetry-book

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You’re on your own - my first poetry book was when I first tried to unlearn. When I started writing it in 2021, I thought I was on my own. But by 2023 when I finished the book and held it in my hands - I realized that I was never alone. The poems in this book are full of imperfections like the versions of me in this book. 

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Second poem in You’re on Your Own is :

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2:00 AM

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Debris of pages

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Laughing alphabets

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Whispering lights

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Arrogant walls

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Mock wicked equations, of my inattention.

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Deceit me, betray me, stab me, Pointless evil Words. 

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Now, in 2026, I laugh when I read this poem. The words that I thought were pointless and evil have never left my side. They always come to my rescue. But I was blinded to their kindness. All I saw was their arrogance. Now I understand where that arrogance comes from. 

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Alright, I will try to sleep now. I love you!

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XOXO

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Arsh Kaur