How to Not Self Sabotage

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Why do we sabotage our own success?
Do we not like success?
Or do we not like ourselves?

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It could be both.

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One reason we may not like success is unfamiliarity. Humans tend to resist what feels unfamiliar. Evolution probably has a lot to say about that, but I have a bone to pick with evolution. We need to stop surviving and start living. Humans need to evolve. Haha. Irony.

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So how do we overcome the fear of the unfamiliar?

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My personal favorite: exposure.

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Bring enough unfamiliarity into your life that your brain stops panicking every time it shows up. Let it learn that unfamiliar does not always mean unsafe.

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Now, what if you do not like yourself?

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Sigh. That is a longer journey, but not an impossible one. And it is absolutely worth it.

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It begins by creating a kind voice in your head whose intention is always love. Give it a name. Dodo, or something like that.

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Whenever the voices in your head start criticizing you:

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You are slow and lazy.
You are useless.
You cannot finish anything.
Your dreams are too big.
You are ugly.

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Let your kind voice, Dodo, stand up for you.

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Reason with the criticism.

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I am working at my own pace, and that is okay. Life is not a race.
I am at least trying, and that means I am useful.
I have finished things in the past. I can finish this too.
That is the point of dreams. They are supposed to be big.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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Tell the voices that shut you down:

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“I know you are scared of the unfamiliar. But trust our power. Trust our courage. Look at all the unfamiliar situations we have dealt with in the past. Trust that we have support. Trust that we are loved.”

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It is not a one-time thing. Every time you catch yourself self-sabotaging, you have to come back and convince the inner voices again.

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And how do I know you will catch yourself?

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Because you have been reading New Beginnings. Of course you are self-aware, my love.

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So let us not sabotage our success, shall we?

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Say it with me: I love myself.

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It is a radical act to love yourself. So love yourself. Be kind to yourself.

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XOXO
Arsh Kaur