Do one thing more, to do less

With summer turning to autumn (fall)—despite today’s 34’C/93.2’F—I’m eating all the summer fruit I can lay my hands on. Yesterday it was a delicious peach, and a white nectarine (my current favourite stone fruit). The peach was flavoursome, though a little ‘floury’ from the hot summer. New season apples and pears will start in soon. I can already feel the crisp, crunchy juiciness, so evocative of early autumn.

Today I read an article that scolded us for our declining diets, and specifically headlined not eating enough fruit1. I am eating fruit, because rather than worry about weight, I’m concerned about nutrition these days. Yes, I’m still fat, but I weigh less now than I did before I got ME/CFS. No, I don’t recommend it as a diet. Being too tired to prepare food or even eat it some days is not healthy.

When I worked full time, I struggled to eat fruit. When you shop weekly, storage can be an issue. So is money. Its hard to justify buying a big bowl of fruit, only to throw it out at the end of the week, all brown and rotting. Coming home after dark, after a 10 or 12 hour work day, to fruit either not-quite-ripe or over-ripe holds little appeal. Eating it feels dutiful or penitential when we feel the need for reward or at least some gratification.

Now that I can’t work and can’t carry much (medical leave / disability), I’ve taken to shopping like our foremothers did, stopping in at the supermarket (grocer) most days on my short walk to buy a few perishables. I find I really enjoy fruit. It tastes and smells delicious. It contains fluids and fibre and kilojoules (calories). My cats don’t hassle me to share either. Did I mention that it’s easy to prepare and eat? Grab and go, unless I get fancy and plate it up. And it looks very fancy, if I do plate it up as a treat.

After a while I’ve noticed I’m eating fewer shelf-stable treats2 (chips/crisps, biscuits/cookies or chocolate). I haven’t been trying to cut down, except in the vague way most of us seem to be. It’s just happened, because I concentrated on adding something—fruit. I guess I have less space for other things? I also find I’m getting a lot of pleasure from the fruit, so I’m maybe not feeling a need to reach for a sweet hit from the shelf-stable stuff as often? Maybe I’ve satisfied a need for both nutrition and pleasure?

My healthcare team have each given me the message that I’m living up to the max of my energy limits again. Those energy limits have shrunk, too. So I’m trying to squeeze in enough essential domestic and personal care, with some semblance of a creative or social life, with supporting people I love who are going through major stuff.

I’ve been trying to do less. Which works for a while, at the cost of extra brain fog from thinking, thinking, thinking as I reorganise my To Do list in the hopes of making everything fit, and spend extra hours in bed recovering when I get it wrong.

You know what I’ve found has dropped way down the list, because in our hustle culture world it always feels expendable? The stuff I do just because I enjoy it. Art, craft, music, time in nature... frivolous stuff like that. Essential stuff like that. Also socialising purely for fun, rather than as a drip-feed check-in with all the people I love to offer enough connection and support (I hope) to keep our relationship alive without exhausting myself. Or to seek support on really hard days, which is also exhausting.

Last September, I did a Create Every Day challenge (#CED24). It required 5 minutes (or less) of craft that wasn’t aimed at productivity, that was just for fun. I did the challenge, and it lifted my spirits and my energy levels a bit. My domestic standards fell by a point or two. I ate a few more pre-packaged meals. And life went on.

I didn’t decide what to drop, using my fibro-fogged brain. I just did my bit of craft, and then did the everyday stuff with whatever spoons (time, capacity) I had left. I guess I’ve been focussing too much on what felt urgent, rather than on what is important.

Keeping our spirits up for the daily struggle, doing things that give us energy and joy and hope. What could be more important than that?

Subtraction is often just diet culture and hustle culture, stuck outside, wanting us to invite them over the threshold so they can suck us dry. Sometimes, it takes less energy and effort to focus on adding one thing —to your diet or your schedule—rather than trying to clear enough space first. Sometimes you have to do one thing more, to do less.

Thank you for reading, your time and attention are a gift.

• What fruit do you love, whether fresh (raw) or canned in juice or syrup? If its obtainable and within budget, buy some and really pay attention when you enjoy it. (If you hate fruit or are allergic or intolerant, that’s ok, choose another food item you enjoy and want to have more of.)

• What is something frivolous you’ve wanted to do for ages? It could be social, creative or just fun. Find a way to do it for as little as 5 minutes. Do a doodle, text a voice message to a loved one, dance in your kitchen… How does that feel?

• Share in the comments a time when you found addition more effective than subtraction… we all need those stories!

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