Welcome to Something Out of Nothing, a newsletter about meaning—making it, finding it, offering it. I talk about the writing life, teaching, thrifting, books, travel, obsessions and idle interests, and much more.
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‘Taking Care’ is a questionnaire about how we manage our inner and outer lives as creative people. I remember flipping through racks at the thrift store as a teenager in the late ‘90s/early 2000s, and pausing on an unusual piece and thinking, I know this is kind of ugly but I also think I like it. As an adult, this attraction to the sorta-ugly or weird has refocused on vintage homeware, and when I saw that writer and antiques dealer Virginia Chamlee was celebrating the same instincts, I felt vindicated. Virginia is one of the most fun and accessible voices in the thrifting, antiquing, secondhand community here on Substack. She regularly offers insights on what to hunt for and how to find it, plus a behind-the-scenes look at styling one’s collected goods, and encourages vintage lovers everywhere to indulge in weird stuff for your home.
Virginia Chamlee is a longtime journalist, author of the best-selling book Big Thrift Energy, antiques dealer, author of What’s Left on Substack, and an artist.
Virginia! What are you working on?
A second book! The tentative title is Cool Stuff & How to Style It, and it will pick up where Big Thrift Energy leaves off—lots about how to style vintage in the home, but of course more tips on finding it, too. My Home show events in Oregon and Round Top are Oct. 12 (book signing in Round Top at Junk Gypsy) and the Eugene Home Show (I am headlining) Oct. 17-19.
In addition to writing, I am an artist. I have a line of exclusive prints through Anthropologie and through Chairish and my original work can be found here.
What is something you once thought about yourself that you no longer do?
I probably would not have described myself as “strong” until I was in my mid-30s, when I learned just how strong I was. I lost my grandmother and began taking care of my mom, who suffered a traumatic brain injury when I was two months old. It was so hard and a really dramatic life change but now, I believe I can do anything, that I am incredibly smart and capable, and that my resilience is my superpower. I also used to spend a lot of time thinking about what others think of me. Letting go of that has changed my life.
When is bedtime?
I am usually in bed by 9PM. I’m a great sleeper and I love an early morning so I try to make things very comfortable. I use a noise machine, a diffuser, a silk eye mask and sleep face-up on a fancy pillow.
What’s a habit or behavior that feels like taking care of yourself?
Physical movement and exercise are an important part of my existence. Fitness is therapy to me so working out 4-5 times a week is non-negotiable. I will be nicer to those around me if I have had a workout—I lift weights and run/walk intervals on an incline on the treadmill. I also recently started working with a trainer twice a week so I’m excited to see where that takes me. But I am also a big walker and take walks constantly throughout the day, just to clear my mind. When I travel, I tend to walk just about everywhere. It’s a great form of exploration and makes me feel good.
What did taking care of yourself look like in your twenties?
I grew up dancing (from the age of 5 to 18) and the moment I left for college I got really into group fitness classes. Back then I was too hard on myself. The HIIT classes were too intense; I would sometimes do two fitness classes in one day even. I had a very “no pain, no gain” mentality. I am not as hard on myself these days and, perhaps counterintuitively, I look and feel better for it.
How do you prepare yourself to write about particularly difficult subjects?
I guess I just dive in. The writing itself is the therapy, generally. Though I often feel most primed to write about something difficult if I have read something really extraordinary—a great poem, a memoir, even a song lyric.
How do you recover after doing intense creative work?
Go for a walk; listen to Taylor Swift (“All Too Well,” 10 minute version); play with my dog, Holly.
What self-care advice rings false for you?
I saw a quote on Substack recently that really hit home for me. It recommended people start using the word devotion instead of discipline. I love that. To be devoted to something is to love it. To be disciplined is to be forced. We should all be devoted to our pursuits, be they wellness or writing, and not feel forced to do them.
I think there’s this idea in the self-care/wellness world that dedication and deprivation are paramount, but it’s important to give in sometimes. Otherwise, you go through life wanting things rather than experiencing them.
How do you manage the way ambition feels?
I am of the mindset that there is nothing wrong with ambition, but I am very cognizant of the fact that I can be overly ambitious. I have standards that are so impossibly high I myself could never reach them. But I try to balance that by allowing myself to celebrate even small wins—a handful of new newsletter subscribers, an upcoming dinner or trip with a friend.
How can you tell when you’re coming up on burnout?
When I have trouble sleeping. If I am laying awake at night worried or stressed out about something, I know I need to take a moment, pause, and maybe remove something from my plate (or, at least, tackle it so I can move on).
What level of “seize the day” are you?
A financial adviser once told me I was the most high-risk client they had, so I like to think I am very “seize the day.” I think it’s important to view everything in life as an opportunity—even seemingly innocuous interactions can wind up having powerful impacts on your life and career. I am a planner, but I like to leave room for spontaneity.
I also try to live in the present moment but think anticipation is hugely powerful and a driving factor for me. I once read that life is really comprised of three things: anticipation, living in the present moment, and looking back on things that happened (i.e. reliving moments after they’ve passed). Despite that there’s a big push to focus on number two on that list (living in the present) the other two are pretty big, too.
What’s the playlist of late?
Music: Ethel Cain, “A House in Nebraska,” Bruce Springsteen, “Tougher Than the Rest,” King Princess, “Watching My Phone.”
Podcasts: I listen to a lot of the Ringer Dish and “The Journal” from the Wall Street Journal.
TV: The Bear season four was so good.
My favorite movies of all time are No Country For Old Men, The Shape of Water, and Anora.
How does money, and your relationship to it, provide care or support?
Money is hugely important to me and I make all of mine myself. I was raised by a single mom, and never had a male financial provider in my life—no dad, no husband. I was also raised to believe I never needed one—to believe that if I want to take great European vacations, or drive a BMW, or have nice handbags, that I totally could, just by making money myself. So that’s what I’ve done. I also take care of my mom, who suffered a traumatic brain injury after being shot in the head when I was two months old so, while I don’t have a child, I understand very well the importance of a financial safety net that lives beyond you. If something ever happens to me, I want her to be well-protected.
What are some forms of care that you’re discovering, or want to try?
I grew up in a golfing community (Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, where the PGA Tour is based) and golfed growing up but I want to get back into it. Whacking golf balls at the driving range feels more cultured than smashing things in a rage room, but they kind of scratch the same itch.
What’s your relationship to night and day?
I am a morning person. I love to have the morning to myself—make my coffee, cuddle my dog. I write a lot in the mornings—longer essays, in particular. I also prefer working out in the morning. I recently went on a trip with friends and went on long walks every morning. One day we walked 25,000 steps before 10AM which felt pretty magical.
What is comforting to you?
Cooking. It’s the one hobby I haven’t monetized which means it is purely for joy and fun. I love grocery shopping, I love planning my menus for the week. I love making something and watching someone’s eyes light up when they bite into it.
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