21, student, speaker, artist...
on about the same girl from the last post. ok so i blocked her. only on whatsapp. so she could find me on instagram if she wanted to. which i understand is me being ridiculous. but i kept obsessively checking my phone to see if maybe, just maybe, she finally responded. i deleted whatsapp off my phone to solve this, only to be desperate to go home so i could pull up the browser version on my…
im really devastated about this girl. her name is phoebe. she texted me november 3 2025. along the lines of "you dont know/remember me, we met at a party in 2021, and i havent stopped thinking about you. ive since moved to europe but i had to get it off my chest." she didn't even know if i liked girls. she didnt know anything about me aside from that party, my name, and whatever ive posted on…
i wish i kept up with this blog more but im happy to write about the last few weeks. i tend to write about forensics here, which is fitting to begin, i attended an international speech tournament in Athens, Greece with 4 other team members + an graduated teammate. we were there from march 7th to march 17th. i competed with duo, poetry, prose, and poi. my poetry broke directly to finals, and my…
i didnt realize how unhealthy that friendship was until I ended it. i feel really uncomfortable when people are possessive over me, but I seem to have this terrible habit of letting people feel ownership over me anyway. for some reason. i think because I'm so firm in saying I love my independence, it means others wont start to depend on me. but then when they have these unrealistic expectations of…
i forgot to write here the last night of my tournament, but. i did really good. POI got collapsed with open, but i got top novice. first place trophy! prose was novice, and i also got first place! i got to see my cousin because she goes to UOP, so we got lunch together. it was really nice. she got to watch one of my POIs. I'm getting put into open because i got first three times this tournament.…
today was my tournament. i did my prose twice and my POI three times. the first time I did my POI, I completely totally and entirely messed up. but I was able to do really good at pretending I didn't mess up... one of the other speakers said she couldn't tell that I mixed it all up. i broke and got 1st out of 7 for POI:) it feels nice. i got the cutest little trophy with a golden angel woman. so…
im at a speech tournament right now. well I'm in my hotel room. i straightened my hair and ironed my clothes last night. packed my bag and bought mary janes this morning. picked up my brother and had lunch with my mom this afternoon. then my girlfriend came over after work and she dropped me off at my community college so I could get picked up by my coach. I'm the only girl for this trip so I get…
im missing my trip down to pasedena today. i went to the beach with A.Y and K.T and it was beautiful. i saw a dolphin, the water was so warm and green and blue and the waves bullied me into the sand and even if it hurt a little, i was having so much fun. we ate avocados and eggs and drank soju and when we drove an hour home we cut open a yellow watermelon and it was such a perfect treat. its…