How to Actually Answer “What Do You Do?”

Recently I shared a note which hit a nerve:

Here are some responses that stood out to me:

“Too much for a single sentence”, “Furiously noting PolyPath as a response for next time!”, “Which version do you want to hear?”, “I don’t let a single identity try and contain me.”, “Where shall we start?”

And my personal favorite - “I have started responding with random things to have fun :D”

Many mentioned how a job could perhaps be the least interesting thing about you, and yet you are forced into a conversation primarily about it. Others mentioned how they would probably start with the version most relevant to that gathering and venture outside based on interest. There was a general angst on how people often want to label you and file you for their own sanity.

The hardest part as some poignantly stated is the internal discomfort of choosing between shrinking yourself just to make it “more convenient” for the other person, or to actually present your whole unedited self. I am going for the latter these days, and experimenting with my AND-entity :D

“So what do you do, Apoorvaa?”

“I am a writer, a mom, a musician, an AI engineer and an entrepreneur. What about you?”

In tech circles, I often see a twinkle in people’s eyes on the mention of music and immediately the conversation goes, “Oh wow! You are a musician? What kind of music do you play?” I am always excited to explain the concept of Ragas to those not familiar, and then love to see them connect it to the music they enjoy.

Most conversations in the Silicon Valley end up being about tech, so people are quite excited to talk about something else for a change! On the other hand, new musical acquaintances or extended family (outside of Silicon Valley) end up asking me about life at Google, especially all the perks!

At birthday parties, conversations with fellow parents often shift to kids’ schools, activities and best strategies to handle tantrums!

When I introduce myself with this AND approach, I have realized that it gives people more options to follow up rather than forcing the conversation to be about tech and work. The conversation becomes a choose-your-own-adventure ride! 🌀

And by presenting more options, it’s also more likely that you find a common interest with your new acquaintance. Such a shared interest can really help a connection “click” since we are naturally drawn to people similar to us.

As an unexpected side effect I have noticed that I end up being more memorable! At tech conferences, I have had many people refer to me as the “musician techie” :D

By far, the biggest bonus has been the incredible conversations downstream from my AND-entity introductions.

Sharing your authentic self is a powerful invitation for others to do the same.

People immediately feel empowered to talk about what lights them up. I once learnt about how a senior tech leader is obsessed about making the healthiest chai with most antioxidants. I connected with a fellow mom on making space for leisure. I immediately hit it off with a product designer who is also a stand up comedian, and naturally the conversation cracked me up! 😀

I have gotten into philosophical discussions on the evolution of work and jobs in the post AI world to healthy debates on what it means to excel at multiple things to tactical chats on how to actually find time and energy for different paths. These conversations have given me many new ideas and insights for PolyPaths!

What has really stood out for me is a fellow mom who said – “I absolutely loved your intro and I am going to use that from now on. I have always been a dancer but never thought of explicitly calling it out. But I totally should since that’s a core part of who I am. And then I can also have more conversations like the one we just had!” 💜

A simple introduction can inspire others and have a flywheel effect!

So, this weekend try introducing the whole of you and not just a part..

And let me know how it goes 🙂

PS: What’s a question you like to ask instead of “What do you do?”