January 2012

Fantasy Book Review

 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The first two books were decent kids' books, but in the third, the Harry Potter universe is wearing thin. There are a number of aspects of this wizardly world that were forgivable at first, but have become uncomfortably grating on this reader's nerves.

Nobody as horrid as the Dursleys could survive even in the muggle world
Harry's aunt and uncle are petty, bigoted, and disgusting human beings. They hate anything to do with magic--bad blood--and so they hate Harry. Actually, they would hate him anyway. The Dursleys are so hate-filled and so utterly inept at anything that it truly would be impossible for Mr. Dursley to hold down his job. Nobody would work with that man for long. But yet Rowling depicts the Dursleys as financially comfortable, with a middle-class house and lifestyle. A more realistic depiction would be to show Mr. Dursley as a bum incapable of holding down a job, living off the government dole. That would solve two big problems: first, it would present a believable family situation. Second, it would give the Dursleys a more quantifiable reason to dislike Harry: he's a financial drain on a family struggling just to eat.

All muggles are useless
Rowling presents all muggles--those people without any magical talent--as useless. The wizard community lives secretly within the larger muggle world, but apparently views muggles as little better than animals. The wizarding world has no muggle friends. An entire Ministry of Magic exists to prevent the muggle world from finding out that magic even exists. Why? Well, apparently the wizards are afraid the muggles would react with fear, bigotry, and racism--probably they'd burn wizards at the stake. And perhaps, in Rowling's fictional world, they would. That's just how awful the muggles are.

That is not realistic. If people discovered that magic is real, there wouldn't be anti-wizard pogroms and concentration camps. No. It would throw the world into upheaval, sure. But most people would get on with their lives.

Here's a better idea: how about instead of muggles just lacking magical talent, make them actually incapable of recognizing magic. Anytime a muggle sees magic in action, the muggle brain automatically interprets it into something ordinary. There wouldn't need to be a Ministry of Magic to prevent the muggles from finding out about magic. Muggles would be physically and mentally incapable of noticing magic.

Then there could be a third category of people, who have no magical talent but can see and recognize magic. These people would be more rare, and perhaps they would often think themselves insane--they keep seeing magic happening, but everybody around them sees nothing. The Dursleys could be among this category. Some of their unpleasantness could be attributed to the stress of seeing and knowing about magic, but being both unable to participate and unable to convince the world of what they are seeing.

Harry Potter is a self-absorbed idiot
In each of his first two terms at Hogwarts, Harry has had run-ins with Voldemort. He nearly died. This time, Harry learns that Voldemort's right-hand man, Sirius Black, has escaped from the prison island of Azkaban and is hunting for Harry Potter. Harry is put under virtual house arrest at Hogwarts, for his own safety. Dementors are posted as guards all around Hogwarts.

So what does Harry do? He sneaks out of Hogwarts to buy candy at the village of Hogsmeade. He notices a strange dog hanging around Hogwarts--a dog that seems to have followed him from his home with the Dursleys. Ominous. And yet--yet--he steadfastly refuses to tell any of this to the teachers at Hogwarts. Why? I don't know. The teachers at Hogwarts have proven themselves to be looking out for Harry's best interests. Even the biased, spiteful professor Snape--who would love to get Harry expelled--would work to protect Harry's life. And Headmaster Dumbledore would be a trusted confidant. Harry knows his life is genuinely in danger. He knows the teachers and staff are trying their best to protect him. Why does he keep secrets from them, sneak around outside of Hogwarts, and basically tempt fate? Because he's an idiot, apparently.

Time travel
Rowling decides to meddle with time travel, so she has Hermione sign up for way too many classes, which she can only attend by using time travel to be in two classes at once. Apparently time travel is strictly regulated, but it's OK to make an exception for a naive, bookish teenage girl who wants to take a few extra courses at Hogwarts.

The teachers at Hogwarts should be fired.
Professor Snape shows unbridled favoritism to Slytherin House; he berates and belittles students in the other houses. He carries a petty vendetta against Harry Potter, whom he continually tries to expel. Professor Lupin fails to cover the material adequately, and he turns out to be a werewolf--a danger to the students because he cannot control himself during the full moon. Professor Trelawney insults students and shows reckless disregard for their emotional wellbeing, and has no understanding or talent for the subject she purports to teach: divination. Rubeus Hagrid forces the students to approach dangerous hippogriffs, and one student gets gruesomely stabbed as a result. Each of these teachers is unfit to be in a position of authority over children. Dumbledore should be sacked too, for allowing these teachers to terrorize and endanger the students.

Quidditch is still dumb
News flash: quidditch is still a dumb sport. It gets even dumber in this book, when it becomes apparent that a great deal of the "skill" involved in quidditch comes down to who has the fastest, most expensive broom. It's not a game of skill at all, it's a game of which team can buy the latest model of broom.

Fantasy Book Review

 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter is back, and the second time around is better than the first. Harry returns to Hogwarts for his second year, but not before Dobby the house elf warns him to stay away from Hogwarts. As an aside, Dobby is nothing but irritating, and I wish Rowling had written him out of the story. But I've no doubt he will play an important role in books to come.

As soon as Harry gets to Hogwarts, things start happening: Harry hears voices. Classmates are turned to stone. Rumors swirl. It seems someone has opened the Chamber of Secrets that purportedly lies beneath Hogwarts. But who? Only the heir of Slytherin can open the chamber, or so the legend goes. And then suspicion turns to Harry: can he be the heir of Slytherin?

No, of course not. Harry is not involved. But here J. K. Rowling ties in some loose ends from the previous book. Harry's strange experience with the boa constrictor at the zoo is not just a freak occurrence: Harry is a parselmouth--he can understand and talk to snakes. That disturbs everyone at Hogwarts. Parselmouths are associated with the Dark Arts, and furthermore, Slytherin was a parselmouth.

Now at this point, we can begin to guess what's happening. The voice Harry is hearing is the creature from the Chamber of Secrets, which must be a type of snake. (It's a basilisk.) As for Harry being a parselmouth, that's not actually an evil thing--and later it's revealed to be an ability he absorbed from Lord Voldemort, when Voldemort attempted to kill him as a baby.

As for Voldemort, it's not surprising that Voldemort is behind the Chamber of Secrets. It was he who opened the Chamber, working through the mind of Ginny Weasley, whom he had manipulated via a magic journal. Harry and his friends locate the Chamber, and Harry defeats the basilisk and prevents Voldemort from regaining physical form. The Chamber is close, the danger is gone. And for special services to Hogwarts, Harry and Ron are awarded 200 points each for Gryffindor--which wins them the House Cup!

Science Fiction Book Review

 The Five Gold Bands

The Five Gold Bands is an early Jack Vance work. It displays his signature style, but in an early, undeveloped form. The story is simple and straightforward, with few plot twists.

The backdrop, which Vance reveals bit by bit, is an interstellar civilization controlled by the five Sons of Langtry, hereditary Lords who hold the secret to faster-than-light space drive. The Sons of Langtry sell sealed, tamperproof drive units to various planets on a strict quota system, allowing no planet to gain enough power or influence to challenge the Sons of Langtry.

Paddy Blackthorn is arrested while attempting to steal a space drive. He is sentenced to death, but first he is sent to serve as an interpreter at a secret meeting of the five Sons of Langtry. Paddy attempts to escape the meeting, and manages to accidentally kill the Sons of Langtry. Paddy takes their five gold bands, which contain clues to the location of the equations that hold the secret to the space drive. All Paddy has to do is follow those five clues, combine the equations, and deliver the knowledge to Earth. Mankind will be freed from the oppression of the Langtry Sons.

With help from Special Earth Agent Fay Bursill, Paddy follows the clues and obtains the equations. Unfortunately, while attempting to locate the final equations on Koton, Paddy and Fay are captured by the new Son of Langtry. They bargain--they promise to give up the other four sets of equations in exchange for their lives. Here, Fay holds a secret: she has memorized the equations, so if she can escape with her life, she can return to Earth and the space drive will be public knowledge.

Despite double-crossing on both sides, Fay and Paddy do manage to escape with their lives. The book ends with them about to deliver the precious knowledge to Earth.

Science Fiction Magazine Review

 Analog Science Fiction and Fact, January/February 2012

Triggers grabbed my attention. The rest of the stories are dumb. Project Herakles is far too bogged down in British politics, and anyway, the idea of breeding giant humans is preposterous. The Doctor Alien story was OK, but too long and boring. Listen Up, Nitwits is a short, clever idea for a story, but should be much, much shorter than it is. I really disliked Humanity by Proxy, and Ninety Thousand Horses is steampunk--and I hate steampunk.

Overall a weak set of stories, but Triggers makes up for it.

• Serial: Triggers (part I of IV), by Robert J. Sawyer - An assassin shoots President Seth Jerrison during a speech, and while at the hospital, an experiment elsewhere in the building goes haywire and accidentally links the President into a telepathic mind-reading chain. With top-secret military operation mere hours away, a spy reading the President's thoughts could be catastrophic for national--and world--security.
• Novella: Project Herakles, by Stephen Baxter - Top-secret British government project to breed giants comes in handy when the giants stroll into London to help stop an attempted coup.
• Novella: Doctor Alien and the Spindles of Infinity, by Rajnar Vajra - A psychiatrist who specializes in treating aliens gets drafted by intergalactic aliens to help decide whether these particular aliens should commit racial suicide.
• Novelette: Humanity by Proxy, by Mark Niemann-Ross - Engineers build the perfect robotic partner--a mule--to serve alongside soldiers; later, they help the elderly.
• Novelette: Ninety Thousand Horses, by Sean McMullen - Disaffected playboy son of a millionaire builds a rocket engine in 1899, with disastrous results.
• Short story: An Interstellar Incident, by Catherine Shaffer - Our bureaucratic hero must pull off a dinner party that includes alien guests who prefer to chase and kill live prey.
• Short story: Listen Up, Nitwits, by Jack McDevitt - A voice from space tells the nations of Earth to listen up and stop the fighting.
• Science Fact: Faster than a Speeding Photon, by Edward M. Lerner - Faster than light travel is impossible, but could there be loopholes?
• Special Feature: What Science Means to Me, by Jerry Oltion -
• Special Feature: Theme: The Art of Writing 'About' Something, by Richard A. Lovett -
• Short-short: Return of the Zombie Sea Monster, by Michael F. Flynn -

Science Fiction Magazine Review

 Analog Science Fiction and Fact, March 2012

I'm getting really interested in Triggers, but the rest of the stories in this issue of Analog missed the mark. The "mark" is whatever pleases me at the moment.

• Serial: Triggers, part II of IV, by Robert J. Sawyer - An assassin shoots President Seth Jerrison during a speech, and while at the hospital, an experiment elsewhere in the building goes haywire and accidentally links the President into a telepathic mind-reading chain. With top-secret military operation mere hours away, a spy reading the President's thoughts could be catastrophic for national--and world--security.
• Novelette: The Ediacarian Machine, by Craig DeLancey - A machine is found encased in Ediacarian (i.e., Precambrian) rock, and explored with remote-control micro-robots.
• Novelette: Upon Their Backs, by Kyle Kirkland - Six naked bodies, perfectly preserved in apparent suspended animation, are discovered in a cave--then two escape from the morgue.
• Short story: Mother's Tattoos, by Richard A. Lovett - Would you sell your soul and get a terrorist-detecting tattoo in exchange for a monthly stipend?
• Short story: Ernesto, by Alec Nevala-Lee - People are being cured of cancer after visiting a holy site in Spain during the Spanish Civil War; it appears to be a miracle complete with the appearance of stigmata, but could it be just an erysipelas infection?
• Science Fact: The Earth Dies Screaming: Radiation Threats from Beyond, by Adrian L. Melott - Maybe it was fluke radiation bombardments that are behind the extinction events in Earth's history: the data doesn't rule it out, and it is statistically probable.