It’s so surreal seeing screenshots of Ghosts (US) it’s like the equivalent of that one gag in Shaun of the Dead where Shaun’s crew meet another group of survivors with similar vibes to them, but played by a set of more famous, more expensive actors.
And, to be clear, Ghosts (US) is the Shaun in this scenario.
*smirking* you couldn’t waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?
hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)
Bonus: you don’t have to cover a lot of ground. I can turn a three kilometre walk into a three hour adventure. Five if there is a small rocky stream or a few ponds.
Your hoarder grandfather dies and you gotta clean out his hoarder house but unfortunately he was a powerful wizard so you gotta clean out twelve tower floors of floor-to-ceiling cursed artefacts and expired mystery potions.
There’s a rat infestation and you genuinely can’t tell if they’re natural rats or not.
He’s got some really nice magical cupboards that lead to huge extradimensional spaces but those spaces are also crammed full of random bullshit.
You find like twelve magical ancestral swords in there. You’re pretty sure that your family has a magical ancestral sword but you have no idea if it’s any of these ones. You’ll have to ask your mum but she refused to come to the tower so you’re gonna have to lug all twelve of them across the country to her idyllic little village to find out.
theres no difference between exercise and black magic both of them hurt your body at first and drain you of energy but the more you dabble in it the more powerful you become
Eartha Kitt’s career is just so iconic because there’s no way you don’t know her even if you don’t know you know her. You like Christmas music ok well she’s Santa Baby. You like Disney animated movie ok well she’s Yzma. You like Disney Channel original movie ok well she’s Madame Zeroni. You like comic book ok well she is Cat Woman. She won.
You like making the racist wife of a war mongering president cry on national television? She did that
Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn’t just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it’s not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won’t pucker or warp the fabric!
i would’ve fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would’ve jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i’d be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it
hey guys so the hero that keeps barging in my tower seems to be using some sort of chronomancy called “quick saving.” have we figured out any counters for that yet or what’s the deal
Ya know what I should kidnap a princess it’s been awhile since I’ve done something fun for myself
Okay so it’s been a few months since I kidnapped the princess and uh. No one has come to try to rescue her yet. Like at all. I sent a spy to the kingdom and they just don’t care. Like they know she’s gone and they’re not bothering. She’s been crying for a few days straight now. Idk what I’m supposed to do here.
An update on the princess. She kinda broke and was very… hollow for a bit there. It took some time to get her interested in learning magic but she eventually came around to it. I’m trying to goad her into reaping bloody vengeance on the family that abandoned her but she’s just been really focused on her studies. Maybe once she’s more capable, she is still a beginner after all.
It’s been a couple of months and the princess’ progess on her magical studies is absolutely *stellar* I swear this kid is a generational prodigy she’s already bent a Cambion to her will and is casting higher level necromancy and evocation spells. She’s such a good apprentice. Is this what it’s like to be a proud dad? I’m buying her a gift. Teenage girls enjoy tomes full of dark rituals and such, yeah?
