Top Scientists at MIT issued a press release today issuing an amendment to the idiom "God is Dead", as new research indicates that God is in fact only comatose and insensate. "Our department has been predicting that the ongoing depletion of sincere belief and runaway growth of secularism would result in Him falling below sustainable levels of worship since at least the early 1980s- but we passed the projected date without ever seeing the signs of the kind of angelic whalefall event that occurs in the higher planes when a God of that size dies for real, and we were starting to wonder," explained scientists from MIT's Department of Applied Theology. "So we did some digging, and it turns out, that, well, you know how sometimes you'll say, "Oh My God," or "Jesus Christ," or "God help us," or something of that nature? And it's not really a prayer in any sense that matters, it's just for emphasis? You don't actually believe in the idea that those statements carry any metaphysical gravity, but you're willing to piggyback on the cultural connotations of gravity to punch up your rhetoric a little, give it some zing?" they continued. "Well, turns out that in terms of worship that's mostly nothing but not absolutely nothing, so He's been scraping by on just that. It's sort of like when you trap a Freshman pledge down in the steam tunnels to see how long they last, and smart money is on "not long," and then you come back a week later and they've somehow been getting by on, like, trace nutrients in the condensation from the steam pipes, and you lose like five hundred dollars," they concluded. "Or it would be like that. Hypothetically. The point is that there's just enough left for His immune system to keep the angels off."