Fortunes: Some Good and Some Bad
Three terrible and two good fortunes.
Three fortunes from a Greeley Colorado, Asian fusion place, August 6, 2026. The dining room is illuminated with red LED lights, giving the fortunes a weird pink tint in the photo.
- If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.
- Your greatest power is the power of positive thinking.
- This week, embrace change as a chance for growth.
Fortune #1 is generally attributed to Oprah Winfrey At best this is a gesture in the general direction of advice.
Fortune #2 is just some wishy washy Norman Vincent Peale stuff. When (not if) bad things happen to you, you just weren’t positive enough. Something of a No True Scotsman argument.
Fortune #3 is some simple, cold read advice.
These fortunes are terrible. They’re advice from a mediocre Life Coach.
Two fortunes from a strip mall Chinese/Thai hole-in-the-wall that has surprisingly decent food, 2026-08-12.
- You will be successful someday.
- Your creativity will be at its peak this month
What do you know? Both of these slips have fortunes, which I define as “predictions of the future”.
Although both of these fortunes are vague (someday? Peak creativity means what?), they are the kind of prediction you expect from a fortune cookie. They could easily buoy you up at the end of a meal. Hey! I’ll be successful someday! That’s great! Or maybe get you back on track on one of your artistic hobbies: Peak creativity? Maybe I should get out my sketchbook!