The One Simple Thing That Helps When You’re Stuck

When people come to me not knowing what to do next, I don’t start by helping them make a plan.

I start by helping them slow down and look.

It sounds almost too simple. But slowing down to really observe a situation - before you react, decide, or fix anything - is one of the most underused tools I know for getting unstuck.

It’s also, not coincidentally, the very first principle of permaculture. And permaculture isn’t just about growing vegetables - it’s a whole framework for working with nature, with people, and with life. If that’s new to you, Looby Macnamara’s books are a wonderful way in.

I’ve just made a short video about this, filmed here on our land in central Italy - the first in a series I’m making with two young filmmakers who came to stay. Each one on a different aspect of finding fulfilment after work.

Watch it here:

Here’s the core of it:

Most of us default to two options when we’re stuck. Do this or don’t. Go there or stay. Two options are always a dilemma. But when you slow down enough to really observe a situation - not analyse it, observe it - a third possibility tends to emerge. Then a fourth. Suddenly, you’re not trapped between two doors. You’re standing in a room with several.

That shift from dilemma to genuine choice is what observation makes possible.

In the video, I also touch on what happens in the brain when we shift into this more receptive, noticing mode - and why it matters more than most of us realise, particularly as life asks us to reinvent ourselves after work.

If this kind of transition is something you're navigating - or you know someone who is - I work with people one-to-one over three months through The Vibrant Elder, a coaching journey across body, mind, and heart.
Find out more here → link.

Watch the video.
Please let me know what you think in the comments :)