Mr. Pink Shirt Guy
Last updated: February 18, 2026 I mentioned in yesterday's post that I read fourteen books this year. I would have read more had I not spent so much time patting myself on the back. I'm not proud of that number. When I look at the list—and this is the first year since college I've read enough books to constitute a list—all I can think is that's it? That's just one book a month! What the hell was I…
Last updated: February 16, 2026 I had three commercial callbacks at the beginning of the month and booked zero of them, so after booking one commercial a month for the past seven months, things have been a little slower around here. But the down time has been nice. I’ve had a few weeks to clean out the garden and sow some new seeds. I’ve been working out sitting around more. I finished my 14th…
"What gets measured gets done." —Peter Drucker or Mason Haire? I tell myself I drink a lot of water. I tell myself that I always meet or exceed my goal of driving three liters of water per day. And I tell myself this every day, despite spending my first waking minutes chugging water like I’m trying it for the first time. Clearly I’m telling myself a lie. So I set out to measure my water intake and…
Director: Rob Morton Agency: Sleek Machine Production Co: Pretty Awesome Producers: Jim Buckley & Joel Walker
Last updated December 14, 2025 If I were starting over in voiceover, here’s what I’d do: Get equipment. Get training. Get work. Get an agent. Upgrade everything. GET EQUIPMENT Here’s what I use now. But to get started, I’d buy an affordable microphone ( Rode NT1 ) and audio interface ( Focusrite 2i2 ), and an XLR cable to connect the two. I’d download Audacity , which is free, but also nasty…
I just realized that my drivers license expires in 10 days. I say “just” as if this were a surprise. It’s not. Nor was it ever. I knew when I got my license 4 years ago the exact day it would expire. Of course, the surprise feeling immediately gave way to self-loathing. One part of me knew the expiration was coming, and another part of me hates that part. Why didn’t you say something sooner,…
Updated: October 2, 2025 My morning chores normally include tasks like watering my garden and then admiring my garden, but this morning I awoke to a huge problem. My Genovese basil seedlings were leaning like the Tower in Pisa that overlooks the same sea as their eponymous home. I wondered if I’d ever recover. Soil block basil seedlings in the foreground, lettuce in the background (click to…
Hello people who have Pomeranians and know how important it is for their fur and skin and body image to brush them almost daily. And hello people who own Pomeranians and refuse to brush them daily because it isn’t fun fighting with your dog daily. Happy Saturday! I started off the week by getting a last minute request to host a comedy show at Gotham Comedy Club. The show went well. Jim Gaffigan…
Director: Will Stefan Smith (@williamstefansmith ) Talent: Me, Eric , Love , Carlos , and Jalen Hurts Agency: Majority ( @majorityagency ) Production Co: Biscuit ( @biscuit.filmworks ) Producer: Christine Presto ( @cpresto915 )
On the stage, my act is clean. But in the garden, I’m free to be filthy. There’s something so human about playing in the dirt. I love tearing open a new bag of soil. It smells like earth. And despite New York being a pretty dirty place, it doesn’t smell like earth. It smells like boiled hotdogs, bus exhaust, and dog urine. There’s something so pleasing about tending a garden. Is it the low stakes?…
Updated July 25, 2025. I took a few days off from writing. I wish I could say it was intentional, that I’d been working so hard lately that I just couldn’t possibly get through another day without taking a much-earned break. But that would be a lie. The past two days were an accident. But it’s not like I wasn’t doing other stuff. Thursday I got a phone call from a comedy agent. “Saturday,” he…
I worked out on Wednesday. I did squats, shoulder presses, and RDLs, plus some bicep curls for the ladies. It’s a plan called Minimalist , co-created, or at least marketed by, Matt D’Avella, a YouTuber I’ve followed off and on for the past several years. The plan is kinda fun. I don’t know if it’s any different from any other plan I’ve ever tried and failed to do, but this one has the added…
I taped 6 auditions today—four for voiceover gigs and two for on-camera gigs. I enjoy each audition, but I hate the process of auditioning. The difference between being in an audition and auditioning is like the difference between playing soccer and watching soccer. When you’re on the field playing, you’re present, you’re alive, you’re in the scene, ready to respond to whatever the other players…
I’m making sauerkraut right now and I’m both a) amazed at how simple it is and b) intimidated by the process. Conceptually, I know it’s simple: shredded napa cabbage, 2% by weight kosher salt, massage, and put in a jar for two weeks to ferment. But emotionally, I’m inexperienced. What if it’s too warm? Or too cold? What if it’s exposed to oxygen? Will it taste good? Will I get diarrhea? Maybe. But…
The other day I smelled weed in my home. Besides the three times our dog, Bailey, ingested spent marijuana cigarettes on the sidwalk in front of our building and subsequently gorged on Beggin Strips and Taco Bell, our home has been weed free. So this was a rare intrusion. After Lauren and Bailey both passed lie detecter and drug tests, I set out to find the source. I sniffed everywhere in my…
In 1916, on the eve of America’s declaration of war in the WWI, Harry S. Truman put in $5000—around $147,000 in 2025 dollars—to the Morgan Oil & Refining Company and signed on as treasurer to help the growing business. The company began drilling beneath farmlands in Kansas in hopes that the country’s impending mobilization for war would lead to a gasoline boom. But instead, business dried up. To…
I'm just the teensiest bit sore after yesterday's trot with Wiff. And though I'm ashamed to admit it—since it was barely 3 miles— I’m also proud, because I won.
I’ve mentioned before how supportive of a husband / competitive I am , so you won’t be surprised when I tell you that when I walked in on Wiff changing into her workout clothes this afternoon, the first words out of my mouth were “I’m going too.” And so, after not having run together since Thanksgiving, we went for a run/race. [I won.] The best part? As we were having an evening Manhattan , I got…
I'm a week and a half shy of starting my sixth month without checking the news, and no, it has nothing to do with our new president but everything to do with his wife. It all started on Inauguration Day 2025. *insert dream sequence harp glissando* The morning started off like any other: two cups of Starbucks Caffe Verona coffee, French press, followed by a mild-to-moderate bathroom catastrophe. It…
Today I had lunch with Wiff , hosted a comedy show, and then had a few beers with a few of my favorite comic friends. I can’t think of a better way to spend a day. I wish I could…