Working on my Conspiracy Black Belt

Lately, I’ve been pondering Sam Tripoli’s metaphor of different karate belts to describe different stages of conspiracy thinking. To my knowledge, he hasn’t said anything about what the belts would be, only that as the belts progress, you refine your skepticism in some vague way. Regardless of whether he clarified what the belts would be, or if I’m just ignorant of his clarification, I came up with my own way to demarcate the different levels of conspiracy consciousness.

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White Belt

At this level, you sense something is profoundly wrong with the world but have no idea what it is or what to do about it. You entered the dojo and are ready to begin your training. Congratulations, it won’t be easy.

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Yellow Belt

When you become a Yellow belt, you start consuming information to figure out what’s wrong with the world and who is at fault. At this level, you do so only from approved sources, though. Netflix documentaries, books at crunchy bookstores that sell socialist books, and even listening to NPR or similar state propaganda outfits. You may be confident, but you are in no way ready for battle. In many ways, this is a trister stage. Most of what you learn here are ideas that benefit your enemy in ways that you won’t comprehend tilll you reach more advanced belts. That said, you are doing the drills, learning to think critically. As long as your heart desires truth more than your ego craves cheap dopamine, you will achieve those belts.

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Green Belt.

This is where you begin to distinguish yourself from the rabble. You start to find the more dissident and censored voices on approved platforms. You discover information that the powers that be probably don’t want you to know. That said, most of the information here, while dangerous to authority, is presented in ways that limit the damage that you can do to your enemy. This stage can be grueling as you are constantly battered with outrage after outrage. It’s here you learn to take a punch.

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Blue Belt.

Your Blue belt is similar to green. In that you are consuming dissident information. What separates you from a green belt is that here you are consuming dissident information from outside the system. You are listening to independent podcasts, Ones that are not sponsored by the usual suspects. You are reading books that are not on the recommended reading list. You are out of the matrix. There is deep truth here. There is also a ton of nonsense. Your discernment is tested here .

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Purple Belt.

This is when you start to understand patterns. You learn history, economics, and psychology, and not just the distorted versions of these disciplines that are taught at your local five-and-dime college. You learn to think in ways that have been occulted for centuries by those who wear the rings of power. You become generally dangerous to the establishment as you can now offer people counternarratives to the reasons why things are the way they are. It is here that you wield the sword of reason not to slay your enemy, but so others may, through imitation, learn to reason as well.

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Red Belt

Red, being of blood and danger, is by far the most intense belt. When you are a red belt, your eyes become open to the spiritual aspect of the battle you are in. You understand that the major actors playing villains on the world stage are merely biological puppets for far bigger spiritual forces. Anyone who is not or hasn’t been at this level can’t fathom how powerful or dark these forces can feel. But no matter how small you feel against these demonic forces, remember that you are a crucial component for something far greater.

Black Belt.

Black is the color of absorption. Whether it be a black hole dragging any and all light back into itself or merely a black shirt soaking up any surrounding light and heat. Black accepts all energy. You earn your conspiracy black belt by accepting all the evil in the world. You no longer concern yourself with defeating your enemy, as you realize they are eternal. You instead stop studying them, stop giving them your precious attention. You, instead, concern yourself with self-mastery. You grow a garden, organize community events, or whatever else is needed for you to live the best life you can. You might even open up your own dojo.

Now, obviously, no one perfectly fits into any of these categories. People are messy and will embody different stages at the same time. Some people won’t fit into any of these mental boxes. But overall, I think this is a good add-on to a good metaphor.