Lean into what you love

I know a guy who really wanted to quit smoking, but he was having a hard time kicking the habit. He realized that he had a particularly addictive personality, so he decided to replace the addiction of smoking with another addiction. Every time he wanted to smoke a cigarette he would smoke pot instead, and go play video lottery poker at a nearby dive bar.

He had never been much of a pothead or a gambler but his addictive personality took right to it. he spent a month or two smoking tons of marijuana and spent a bunch of dollar bills on video poker. When the haze cleared, he was no longer addicted to nicotine. Of course, he had a new addiction or two on his hands, but it wasn’t as deeply rooted or as hard to kick as cigarettes, and he has now been quit nicotine for years.

Quitting any ingrained, well-worn habit is tough. It’s often easier to replace a habit with something else.

The same idea applies to addictions to screens and phones. When I started this show I had no idea that a lot off it would end up being about how to spend less time on your phone, less time on you screens, I just wanted to make a freewheeling show that was about modern life, and how to lvie it well— but I’ve come to realize that again and again when you think about it-- the crazy amount of time we spend on our devices, our phones and what not are one of the defining challenges to the life well lived.

Which is where I’m going with this idea --it’s easier to choose a positive than a negative. It’s easier to find some new habit or hobby or passion to do that you like to do and want to do ad cultivate that, than it is to just say -- I want to look at my phone less, and leave it at that. It works much better to have something that you enjoy doing that you reach for in your spare moments.

I think we can get more sophisticated than just saying -- doom scrolling is bad -- and think about ways to actively connect with in real life, beyond the screens. I see signs off it, of people building this and choosing this, if you squint you may notice there is a quiet but sturdy bubbling up in person, in real life, connections happening. Just last night I went to a poetry Salon I recently found out about, it was the 100th meeting of the group-- poets met in a backyard, and took turns reading poems, ranging from the funny and light hearted to the highly experimental.

There was a packed lawn of poetry aficionados there, who listened to the readings, until well after dark, and the poetry reading continued by lamp and candle light.

The night before that I went to music show in a basement near my house and felt like I had tumbled through a hole in time into 2006 when it felt like every other block in Portland had some kind of noise rock or metal punk show happening in a basement. Right now, The marquees of various bookstores and teahouses are as packed with event as they ever have been. I suspect we may be in the midst of a life and in person renaissance happening. The thing about renaissance is they are invisible at first unless you go looking for them. And to see some grass roots, in the wild community in action you need look no further than Pedalpalooza which is happening now and has several events a day, every single day all summer long.

There is no shortage of opportunities for you to go out there and touch grass, and no better place to do so than Portland in June.

One of the best things about Portland is the parks. I was struck by how little I saw people on their phones when I was in Mexico earlier this year, but maybe that’s because I spent a lot of time out and about in public spaces, like Zocalo’s Every Mexican neighborhood has a Zocalo which is a little park with plenty of shade and benches for people to sit on and paths for people to stroll around and enjoy. America doesn’t have Zocalo’s but we have no shortage of green spaces in this rose city. They are natural community builders. In the park near my house the track is taken over nightly by a community of islanders who have some kind of track meet hang out going on nightly, where the kids run laps and various track exercises while the adults catch up just hanging out, you also have the dog park, and the soccer and baseball which are frequently packed with people playing soccer, baseball, ultimate frisbee, as well as a weekly hippie outdoor dance collective and a musical jam afternoon that’s been happening weekly since the pandemic. You love to see it.

And the people at these places and things, they aren’t looking at their phones, they are talking to other people. So, today instead of talking about how your phone is bad for you if you stare into the abyss too long — I know you have probably heard that—I just wanted to say look at all the different fun engaging stuff out there, it’s Portland in June, it’s a lovely time and place to be alive, make sure to get out there and enjoy it!