There’s a pool on Washington’s National Mall right now that is, depending on who you ask, a magnificent patriotic tribute to America's 250th birthday, an undrainable toxic epoxy swamp, or a crime scene. Here’s another perspective: the perfect metaphor for the Trump administration.
Let’s recap. The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool got a multimillion-dollar facelift, with the goal of turning its floor a celebratory American flag blue. The no-bid contract was awarded to a Trump donor whose qualifications for the job can be summarised as being a Trump donor.
Apparently the contractors looked at one of America's most famous monuments and thought, ‘What this really needs is truck-bed liner.’ Crews, racing to finish before a White House birthday party featuring a UFC card, removed the pool’s oxygenating nanobubbler system before the job was actually done. They refilled the pool anyway.
Within days, it turned a new colour. Not reflects the sky blue. A deep, luxurious green. Golf course water hazard green. Jurassic Park lagoon green. The contracted company, Greenwater Services, really overdelivered.
What happened next is the part that makes this a genuine allegory rather than just a funny news item. First came denial. It wasn't really algae. It was merely "residual algae," which sounds less like a pond problem and more like something your dentist recommends flossing to remove.
Then came the pivot to Big Science. Marine ozone. Industrial-strength hydrogen peroxide. A bubbling beaker full of terminology to convince everyone that, if this didn't work, it would at least fail in high definition.
And when the green refused to take the hint and leave, the story escalated to its natural, inevitable conclusion. Sabotage! Vandals, we were told, had sliced a gash; the length keeps growing; it’s now allegedly 350 feet, into the lining and poured contaminants into the water.
Several suspected felons have been arrested, including a retired Olympic canoeist who says he was detained for the crime of touching a loose piece of coating. Let’s find those pardoned Jan 6 folks and get a gallows built pronto.
You don't need me to connect the dots; the parallel between rancid reflection pool and President gurgles for itself.
Find a way to grift. Rush the job to meet a publicity deadline. Choose spectacle over safety. Remove the thing that keeps everything working. Deny the problem you’ve created until you can’t. Announce a fix with more confidence than evidence. And when the fix doesn’t work, blame someone else. And the signature move: turn something beautiful into something awful.
What’s it all about, Algae?
Let’s hope a blue tide is coming.
If you enjoy my writing, consider becoming one of my paid Substack Subscribers. It helps support my work, and you get special things!
Or you can simply Buy Me A Coffee here! I’ll shout you out in my next post as a thank you.
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.