There comes a time when you can no longer claim to be in your mid-sixties. As I clock up 67 and a half years of life in my current human form, I feel I must now replace mid with, yes, late. This is not a clouds-parting moment. It’s more like noticing your reflection in a shop window and realising you’re now officially someone whose advice could begin with, “In my experience…”
67.5 years into this curious human experiment, I wouldn’t claim to have figured life out. Anyone who says that probably hasn’t been paying close attention. But after a great deal of living, loving, failing, laughing, worrying unnecessarily, sometimes worrying appropriately, and occasionally walking into a room and forgetting why, a few patterns do start to reveal themselves.
I’ve noticed that certain things reliably drain you of happiness. And I’ve noticed that certain things reliably elevate your life. For me, it comes down to a specific set of qualities I call the Four Life Lifters.
First: Joy. It matters far more than we’re usually told.
Not the big, cinematic joy with swelling music and slow-motion running. I mean the small, sneaky joy that turns up unannounced. The laugh you didn’t plan. The moment you notice the light on the trees. The ridiculous pleasure of a really good cup of coffee. The relief of being able to breathe freely once a cold finally clears. The joy of feeling normal, which turns out to be wildly underrated.
For years, I thought joy was a reward. Something you earned once you’d done enough, achieved enough, proved enough. What I’ve learned is that joy is more like fuel. Without it, everything else becomes heavy work. With it, even difficult things are strangely more manageable.
Joy doesn’t ignore reality. It helps you stay human inside it.
Second: Creativity. It’s fun waiting to be had.
And no, you don’t have to paint landscapes, write novels, or own knitted scarves to qualify.
Creativity is simply the act of making. Making sense. Making connections. Making meaning. Making dinner with whatever’s left in the fridge. Making a phone call you’ve been putting off. Making a life that fits who you are now, not who you were twenty years ago.
Whenever I’ve felt most alive, I’ve been in the act of creating something. Whenever I’ve felt most stuck, I’ve been consuming too much and making too little. Too much input. Not enough expression.
Creativity keeps you flexible. It stops life from turning into a loop of habit and resignation. It whispers, “What if?” just when you’re about to say, “Oh well.”
Third: Connection. It’s the whole enchilada.
I used to think independence was the goal. Self-sufficiency. Not needing anyone. I now see that as a misunderstanding dressed up as strength.
We are relational creatures. We regulate ourselves through each other. We remember who we are in conversation. A life with plenty of opinions but little connection slowly shrinks. A life with genuine connection expands, even when circumstances try their best to limit it.
Connection doesn’t have to be intense or dramatic. Often it’s small. A shared laugh with a stranger. A proper listen. Being fully present instead of half-checking something else. Letting yourself be seen without polishing the edges too much.
Every truly meaningful thing in my life traces back to connection. Everything that felt empty was missing it.
Fourth: Purpose. It’s critical and always evolving.
In my earlier years, purpose was tangled up with success, momentum, and proving something. Proving I could do it. Proving I belonged. Proving I was worth listening to.
Over time, purpose softened. It became less about achievement and more about contribution. Less about being impressive and more about being helpful. Less about climbing and more about tending.
Purpose now feels quieter, but deeper. It shows up as care. Attention. Service. The desire to leave places, people, and conversations a little better than I found them.
A life without purpose feels restless. A life with purpose feels grounded, even when it’s imperfect. Especially when it’s imperfect.
The Life Lifters Await You
Looking back, these four qualities keep appearing: Joy, Creativity, Connection, and Purpose. Whenever my life felt lifted, they were present. Whenever it felt flat or frantic, one or more was absent.
I wish I could say I learned all this early and applied it flawlessly. I did not. I learned it slowly, sideways, and often after doing the opposite first. That seems to be the curriculum. The good news is that we can learn to cultivate, apply, and celebrate these qualities at any stage of life. And the learning never really stops.
A happy life, as far as I can tell, isn’t built by force. It’s invited in. It grows where you allow joy, keep making things, stay connected, and orient yourself toward something that matters beyond your own concerns.
And let me underline this. Laugh as much as possible along the way. A little levity can lift us to a higher place.
Love on ya, Anthony
Anthony Ackroyd
Learn more about my work at anthonyackroyd.life
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