Big girls need love, too

Hi friends,

Insecure people on the internet (and unfortunately in real life, too) love to project and pre-reject people they’re afraid will reject them. It’s the classic “Well you’re an ugly, fat b**** anyways!” Sir, I was’t ugly and fat a minute ago when you were trying to get my number, so what happened? I can’t have standards because I’m fat?

Of course you can! You are worthy and deserving of love, no matter your size. Don’t listen to people who say otherwise. I’m a big woman and the guys I date are often tall skinnies. Though those who have loved me haven’t been too much of a problem re: commenting on my weight, I’ve had my fair share of comments online.

There was when a man’s first message to me was “Will you sit on me?” and then when a guy commented on one of my TikToks, “Looking at your size, who would want you?” People are BOLD! And yet….they swipe on me on dating apps and comment on my videos…

I can (and will!) write longer pieces about my experiences in this arena, but for now let’s start with these 5 rapid-fire red flags:

Share 🚩 Red Flags 🚩

1. Their first message to you is about your body. “Wow, you’re huge” or “You’re pretty for a big gal” 🤢

2. They ask if you’ve “ever dated a skinny person” or they fetishize you.

3. They ask if you’ve “considered losing weight” before. No, actually not ever once in my life have I been on the Special K diet or Atkins or Paleo or the Mediterranean diet or…or….or….I grew up fat in the 90s! What do you think?!

4. They send you articles about "your health" to try to “encourage you” to lose weight. This is passive-aggressive and rude.

5. They have unhealthy habits, but judge others. Oh you smoke cigarettes and want to lecture me on health? Get outta here!