A Good Girl's Block-Breaker Gift Guide

Yes, I’m still here! Still fighting dizzying writer’s block… I recently read this piece by who rounded up a number of theories concerning writer’s block which I found immensely gratifying since obviously this isn’t just my own failing. For instance, there’s something to be said for Joan Didion’s practice of putting an entire stalled manuscript in the freezer — you’re freezing? Okay, now you’re frozen. See how you like it. Just the physical act alone seems pretty cathartic. Of course, the prevailing wisdom is to write through the block. Okay, but how? Pick something totally different, something you like, something that will interest you enough to make you keep going at writing it.

To be honest, part of the block is seeing the overwhelming output of everyone else on Substack, especially at this time of year. The gift guides, people! I mean…it’s like all you do is shop all day, but I know that can’t be the case because you’re also finding the time to write about the things you’re shopping on this vast internet. Holy shit, the volume of gift ideas in my inbox since mid-November had me wanting to cancel Christmas entirely. Too much of a good thing can be daunting.

But then I thought about it: maybe I too should write a gift guide? Clearly this is at least some kind of avoidant behavior that is actually, I don’t know…productive? I’ve been a very good girl this year, Santa, I promise, incomplete manuscript notwithstanding. (I could list my goodness qualifiers, but I don’t want to sound completely full of myself.) So, why not a gift guide of my personal favorites? Things I would want for myself were price and practicality absolutely not a factor?

I know you’re going to say: isn’t this what Sunday Snaps is for? And you’d be correct. Writing anything has been fraught these last few weeks. The ending of The Spring is still in pieces in my brain and I don’t know why — it actually terrifies me. This project that has flowed so easily and beautifully the last 2 years has suddenly just…stopped. It’s there, but I can’t articulate it. I don’t want to let anyone down and I know you’ve all been really patient, so I’m asking for just a bit more patience while I push through this…Just know that this gift guide is an exercise in trying to get myself back into flow. Maybe this won’t do the trick; maybe it will take other essays or thoughts or whatever to get there, but I’m going to try.

Let’s start with some personal goals, shall we? I want to re-learn the game of backgammon (I knew how to play as a kid, but I’ve forgotten) and this set from Addison Ross is beautiful. I love the black and white Chinoiserie motif on the box which would make it a beautiful thing to have in any room. I also want to learn Mahjong, but I know my Mom has at least 3 sets stashed somewhere, so I’m going to tap that resource first. As my Hashimoto’s has gotten better over the last year I’ve found that regular lymphatic drainage massages really help quite a bit. I mean, they’ll kick your ass, but they help. RedMint in San Francisco offers them at a reasonable price and even has a membership option. They also offer usage of a PEMF mat, which I’ve had my eye on for a long time, especially this one from HigherDose. I love my infrared HigherDose sauna blanket so much — it’s honestly one of the best things I own. It helps with all kinds of muscle aches, or even when you’re just feeling sort of blah. Apparently PEMF mats are that X10, so why not?

I used to have a pair of long leather gloves. Who knows what happened to them, but they’re gone and I haven’t been able to replace them yet. Last weekend I found an amazing vintage coat at the flea market, and it’s perfect jewel-length sleeves make me regret those long gloves. I love this set from Nour Hammour (one of my favorite brands) - you can even choose if you want a silk or cashmere lining! This Bordeaux-colored pair from ALC is running a close second. Speaking of gloves, this L’Heure des Gants scarf from Hermès is the first one I’ve liked in a while. It picks up a nice array of warm neutral colors but the navy/black background keeps it strong. My Mom used to gift us an Hermès scarf at Christmas, so no, I don’t need any more in my collection, but still. I do have a weakness for the Dior Paris map cashmere shawl, however. I know it’s kind of basic, but I love maps…I love maps of Paris…I love cashmere. I’ve tried to love the Acne Studios plaid scarfs that everyone has, but the mohair kills me. (That and angora — I run away screaming in itchiness.) I think some cashmere is a fair compromise.

Last year I treated myself to a vintage gold charm (it’s a San Francisco Cable Car with a stanhope image inside), but I haven’t yet found a chain for it so it’s been sitting in the drawer. The price of gold being what it is, a chain around 20” or a little longer gets pricey but I have been looking at this one at Fiat Lux on Fillmore, or this one on the higher end at Métier in Hayes Valley (both are some of my favorite stores to browse). Of course, I could just spring for a Marla Aaron chain with a twist lock (which one to choose?) so I can swap out charms or just wear it as a necklace. One other thing I’ve been wanting to invest in is the famous Clyde trench coat from Sézane… I just love that it’s simple and kind of swing-y and it doesn’t have all the straps and epaulettes. Plus in San Francisco you can always use a trench!

Back at the flea market, my friend Kim found an amazing amber glass bowl that she brought home as her “purse bowl”. She explained that this is a bowl you keep near your front door where you can empty your purse so you can swap your bags more efficiently. I don’t know how long she’s been keeping this brilliant idea to herself, but now I’m on a mission to find one. I love Dinosaur Designs, especially their cuff bracelets, but their tabletop pieces are fantastic too. This Medium Flow Bowl looks like the perfect size for being a “purse bowl”, and it’s sculptural sides make it look more intentional than a mere serving dish. It also comes in a ton of colors. We also saw a few vintage tabletop lighters at the old flea, which we both think are going to be making a chic comeback. I love this vintage Alfredo Barbini option which is a stackable set of both a lighter and an ashtray in a beautiful plum-colored Murano glass. Another little bit of vintage I like is this 1920s-era cigarette case that would be perfect for business cards. It would also look smashing just hanging out in the purse bowl.

I’ve been a fan of Grainne Morton’s jewelry for years now, but always feel like are so beyond special I’m unworthy. I love her earrings especially, and while I know I’d love one of her oversized asymmetric pairs, I think the Glove and Face Charm Earrings are perfect in their surrealism. A little bit Dali, a little bit Cocteau…they’re weird and wonderful but I know I’d wear them often. I also came across this stunning ring from Dries Van Noten the other day, and it’s living rent-free in my head. Speaking of jewelry (which, obviously I love) I’m kind of obsessed with this absolutely over-the-top ridiculous sculpture of a ring-wearing octopus from Astier de Villatte. I just love the idea of a shiny-object loving octopus adorning themselves on every arm. The octopus is me, I am the octopus.

Speaking of ridiculous shiny objects, these party shoes at Ferragamo are pretty spectacular in a classic-disco sort of way. They’re chic and silly and don’t make any sense, but I love them. Obviously I should pick up a classic (practical) pair of Vara flats instead of entertaining these beauties but this is the Santa list, and I’ve been very good.

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